The Weekend

I feel like it was just Friday eight minutes ago. How do the weekends always disappear so fast? It's wizardry, I tell ya, wizardry.

But today we're here for a weekend recap. I realize the majority of you hate weekend recaps and would much rather read a "How To" post or be taught how to increase your social media presence or feast your eyeballs on a perfectly styled lifestyle photo of a pink frosted donut with a polka dotted pen you never use situated at a precise 65 degree angle, but that's not me. Trust me it has been on several occasions (even the donut when I don't like donuts) and it still will be every once in a while, but I've decided I'm just going to show up here and talk life and document whatever the heck I want whenever I want and if people read, great, and if not I'll enjoy going back and looking at this nonsense someday.

So we're recapping.

Friday night was date night, so we drove the twenty minutes down Seneca Lake to Watkins Glen to do dinner and a movie. We ended up seeing Deadpool which I was a little nervous about since superhero movies aren't really my thing. Except for The Dark Knight which sits pretty snug on my "Favorite Movies" list. But I had also read that it wasn't your typical superhero movie, plus... Ryan Reynolds, so it didn't take much convincing.

And man I'm glad I went because it ended up being one of the better movies I've seen in quite a long time. Action packed, hysterical, romantic, odd, Ryan's naked ass; it had it all. My single complaint was that he didn't stay hot for long enough. Damn torture chamber.

Then we went to The Wildflower Cafe for dinner and I immediately ordered the soft pretzel sticks with Pale Ale cheese dip for an appetizer. One might say that this is rather weird for me since I don't like bread but I'd probably eat cat litter if you smothered it in beer cheese dip, so bring on the dough. And then after housing popcorn at the theater and the app (with an extra side of beer cheese dip, duh), I looked straight at the blue burger I had ordered and said yeah right, I'd rather vomit. Trev decided to be polite and actually try his burger before asking our waitress to wrap up our entire meal but his has a runny egg on it so I only wanted to vom even more. How do people eat yolks? I'd rather eat a strangers hangnail.

Barf.

Anyway, from there we headed back home to snuggle the Pudge monster who was over the moon excited to not be partying alone in his crate on a Friday night any longer.

If you follow me on Snapchat (username: twothirdshazel) you already saw that I got juuuust a little angry at that dear puppy of ours Saturday morning. That's because he chewed straight through my Macbook charger. And Macbook chargers aren't cheap. Little asshole. It's the only thing he's ever ruined so I can't complain too much but it would've been nice had he ruined, you know, a roll of toilet paper instead. Womp.

So off to Best Buy we went. Which conveniently led us to Dunkin Donuts for a coffee coolatta and Target for a cart full of other shit I didn't need as well. So thanks for that, Pudge.

At least Trevor called it.

Saturday night was spent babysitting two precious little boys who wanted to do nothing but play cops and cowboys with their new nerf guns for two straight hours. Come their bed time it was then spent watching Fuller House, eating chocolate ice cream, and Pinteresting things that I can't quite tell you about yet, all while getting paid. Win.

Sunday morning rolled around and Trev got up with Pudge, who had decided it was time to throw a party at 5am, so that I could sleep in 'til ten. Bless that man. It was the most glorious thing in the world and I can't even tell you the last time I remember sleeping in that late. 8am is even late for me these days.

                                 I might have to name my first child this

                                 I might have to name my first child this

The weather was also glorious so I threw on the brightest two things I own and headed out the door to go get the puppy his first puppy bath at Petsmart.

That ended up being a complete shit show because apparently the entire world decided to get their dogs' nails trimmed this past Sunday and there was no room in the schedule for puppy baths. So we beelined it straight to Chipotle, went home, and decided we never should have left the island bed in the first place.

And then we gave him our own tub bath at home instead and he actually really liked it this time around.

Except for his hair gets all crimped out as soon as it starts to dry. I've never experienced such a thing having labs all my life. Is this a golden thing? It's adorable either way.

Sunday night ended with The Oscars. That awards show which never should've started in the first place because holy hell can you say awkward turtle. I much rather would have preferred to see them just get cancelled than watch Chris Rock beat the #OscarsSoWhite conundrum to death every time there was a break between awards. I thought the monologue was okay and it was something that definitely needed to be addressed and poked at but an entire three and a half hours of it?! Stab my eye balls with splintered chopsticks.

And please make this Friday come as fast as last Friday disappeared. Thank you.