The Name Game

Trevor and I had a name all picked out and ready to go had this baby been a boy. So of courseee we got a little miss, instead. The only reason I hoped for it to be a boy was for this very reason.

I'M NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO NAME A GIRL!

Insert all the wide eyed emojis that could fill up this entire computer screen right here.

But I'm dead serious, guys. How do people actually do this part of having babies? Poopie diapers? I'm all set. Swaddling a squirmer? Got it. Writing a name down on the birth certificate? Holy hell, no sir, I'm sorry I'm physically unable to do that for you.

You see, I've been making lists of girl baby names ever since I was twelve. It's this weird obsession of mine but I just really love names. The thing, though, is that I actually hate them ever more. And that's because I over think just about everything in my life. Do the syllables of the first name go with the last? What about when you add in the middle name? Okay those work but now the abbreviations spell out ALS. We can't give our child a monogram of a terrible disease. Okay let's switch the middle name. But wait, that's that girl from my 8th grade science class that smelled like rotten fish. Nope. Okay how about this? Oh but that doesn't have any special meaning to me. I need there to be some sort of meaning. That means tree bark in Swahili. Nope again.

Welcome to me world right now.

When I was twelve I could just use my silly but loved nonetheless names for my stuffed animals and not think twice about it. You know, the ones like Tallulah. My apologies to any Tallulah's out there reading this.

But now it's a whole new ball game because I actually have to think about the repercussions this poor human being, my human being, will have to deal with because of A) my fickleness in always changing my mind about what I like, and B) my affinity towards the not so popular and definitely non Top 100 names.

Which Trev lovingly likes to call my "hippy names".

And speaking of that guy... he doesn't have a single girl name in mind. Mostly because he was dead sure this alien inside of me was a boy (he's not going gambling any time soon) but partly because he just hasn't looked at names or thought about it yet. All I've been able to pry out of him is that he likes "conventional but cool" names but no examples. Which to me is just crazy since I've had an ongoing list in my iPhone notes app since the dawn of the iPhone notes app.

Maybe I'm just the crazy one? Absolutely. But still, I could rattle off at least 15 names that I like right now on this very blog. Him? Nothing.

So I decided we should dude-ify the whole experience and create a March Madness-esque bracket to name our daughter. Enter Little Baby Sherman's baby naming tournament...

Luckily he agreed so that's what we're doing. I dumbed it down to 32 names instead of the usual 64 since coming up with 32 names he likes might be a little daunting.

So we'll each pick 16 different names and seed them with the #1 seed going to our most favorite. Then we'll put our favorite up against or least favorite, second favorite against second to least favorite, etc. just like they do in March Madness. Every week or so we'll do a new round until we get down to our Final Four. And, as of now, I'm thinking we'll take those four names to the hospital with us and see from there which one fits her best.

And that way this child will actually have a name before she has a driver's license. I may or may not die in the process, so wish me luck. And leave me your favorite name suggestions in the comments!