Out-of-Wedlock Babies

Babies born out-of-wedlock. I've thought about these little beings quiteee a bit since becoming pregnant with my own. And for a whole variety of different reasons.

1) I never thought I'd have one myself. Marriage is important to me. Not for religious reasons, of course, but just for the sake of having a recognized/legal/legitimate/whatever you want to call it family unit. Family is the single most important thing to me. Besides my 1.9 pound bag of Swedish Fish, but who's counting. It was always my plan to meet the guy, get engaged, get married, buy a house, have a baby. It was never my plan to get knocked up. Then again it was also never my plan to watch eight straight hours of Dance Moms or get Chipotle twice in a day but I've done both of those things too, so whatever, right?

2) They really are the "new normal". I read somewhere the other day that half of all babies born in the U.S. are born out-of-wedlock. That shocked me. And two thirds of women will have a baby, while not married, by the time they're 30. Insane! That's why I find it funny that society is still so shocked by the fact that people have babies before they're married. There's still such a stigma about it. Which leads me to my next point...

3) They aren't all unplanned. I know people that want kids but don't necessarily want a wedding or a marriage license. I know people that could care less which comes first. Then again I also know a whole slew of "uh oh" babies who came before a marriage that would have happened first had their not been an unexpected surprise. And I also know quite a few girls who have called their babies a surprise, yet never once used birth control, in which case they aren't really surprises. But that leads me to this...

4) You'll be judged for that baby no matter which category you fall under. I'll have someone from bumblefuck USA thinking I'm an incompetent moron who can't get ahold of taking a measly birth control pill every day even if I had never missed a single one since starting them ten years ago. I'd be asked twice a day for a week after announcing the pregnancy if I'm getting married before it arrives even if I never for a second wanted to get married or ever planned to in the first place. I mean I would personally rather crawl into a manhole and live there for a week before I squished myself into a dress or planned a wedding before this child comes out of me, but hey, there are psychos out there that'll think I secretly planned this baby myself in order to do just that. It's an amazing thing when you stop caring about what people think of you, that's all I can say about that.

5) There's some sort of notion that the dad's get no say in an unplanned baby's life. I could write an entire post on this topic because it makes my blood boil but I won't because stress is the devil, they say. But I've read baby forums online where people will say things like "It's your body, not his, it's not his choice." or "If he doesn't man up and take responsibility then he isn't a man." All to which I say "What in the shit are you smoking?!" Of course it's not his body but it IS just as much his baby and he has just as much of a say as I do in any decisions that are made about it. The dad shouldn't automatically get roped into a child's life if he never wanted the child in the first place. He obviously doesn't get to tell the mother what to decide to do with her body but he should get to decide whether or not he wants to stick around and/or support the kid inside of her. Babies aren't traps. I read an article recently that mentioned a possible law going into place that would let fathers decide whether or not they wanted legal rights upon finding out about a pregnancy. Just like mothers can decide whether or not they want an abortion, fathers can decide whether they want to get out completely (no parental rights, no child support, etc) or instead, be the dad and have all the legal responsibilities that come with it. And there will always be those that say crap like "Well if you have sex then you better know the consequences" to which I reply "Welcome to 2016 where we have songs on the radio with lyrics like "Snapchat me your hooha", so let's get real here".

Holy crap, end rant. I'll stop the craziness and leave with this...

6) Babies born out-of-wedlock are just as loved as those born into a marriage. Amen, THE END.