"I wish I was as excited about blogging now as I was when I first started."
"I feel like I never have anything to write about anymore."
"I haven't blogged in days and it honestly doesn't even bother me."
Have you found yourself saying any of these things or anything somewhat similar lately? If not, then you're lucky. Really lucky. That or you just haven't been around blogland long enough to understand the sudden wall that builds up causing you to feel these things. Blogging is hard. I think all of us that do it has said it. And it's hard for so many different reasons.
It's hard in the beginning because you're working your gosh darn ass off trying to learn the ropes. How do I insert a link, how do I line all of my photos up, how do I add a button to my sidebar?
It's hard in the meat of it all once you've got the basics down because you're trying to keep up with ad space, and link ups, and sponsored posts, and making sure you're constantly providing great content for your readers. Maintaining page views and keeping your stats up enough so that you can continue making the money you've recently started making off of your lovely hobby. It's hard because it's just so chaotic and crazy and everything's happening all at once for you.
And then you reach the whole other set of hardships. The burnt out ones I'm experiencing lately and hoping the heck that other bloggers out there are experiencing as well. Actually, I know there are other bloggers out there feeling the same way. Whit hasn't blogged about much of anything since picking up and moving across the country (she's alive and well for anyone wondering). Kym went radio silent for a while too because, like she put it so perfectly, "Silence was better than bullshit." And my Twitter feed and email inbox have both seen quite a few "after x amount of years, I'm shutting my blog down" and "I feel ya on not being excited about posting anymore" type of comments.
The things that are hard in this stage of blogging aren't only hard, they're debilitating. Because all the things that seem difficult in the beginning just push you to try harder and keep going. The things now cause you to honestly not give a flying eff.
Blog's been completely blank for two weeks? Cool, I could pretty much care less. Real life is just so much more enjoyable right now, so worrying about my post-less space on the interwebs seems, well, pretty pointless.
I've wondered, lately, whether real life happiness has anything do with how often we blog about our real lives. Obviously there are a ton of bloggers who show up every day that are perfectly happy, don't get me wrong. So I'm certainly not saying that bloggers who post seven days a week are anything short of perfectly content. But I guess these past three months of my own life have just about been the single most happy months of my life and blogging completely went out the window for all three of them. So maybe, at least for me, when I'm genuinely happy with what's going on in my life, I really don't feel the need to come here and write about it. I don't use this place as a crutch to provide me my enjoyment.
Then there's the fact that maybe I've just run out of random shit to write about. I've never called myself the most entertaining or exciting person in the world, so how am I supposed to keep showing up to entertain? There's only so many times I can tell you all how much I love Chipotle and puppies before you'll want to use my skull as a damn punching bag right?
Or maybe not blogging, and in-turn having privacy free of any judgement, sometimes really does trump throwing it all out there for the positive interactions. I've always said that the good that comes from the supporters and the people that do love you always makes all of the bad shit worth it in the end. But lately, it's honestly just been pretty great not having to worry about all the nonsense. Because it's never really that thrilling to tell your boyfriend some crazy lunatic from who knows where, named who knows what, was so wrapped up in your life that she stalked his shit so hard on the Internet just to find out his age. Just no. I could do without all that psychotic Looney Tune drama for the rest of my life.
Oh, and then there's that other part where you reach the point where you'd rather just be doing something else more fun than typing out a post. When I started this blog I was working a 9-6 in an office at a job that I hated. So sneaking onto my blog and jamming out a post was WAY more exciting than doing actual work. But now I'm running around doing fun school projects and nannying two kids and snuggling my boyfriend. All things that I absolutely prefer to occupy my time with instead of sitting in front of my laptop.
So while I've promised to try to blog more (a few times now), I really just don't know how well it's going to go over. The pessimistic, lazy, no-shits-given side has officially taken over. And that's just the honest truth. And now I think I need a beer, some gummy worms, and some damn happy endorphins. Phew.