A Decision Made

Give me a second while I dust the cobwebs off around here. 


There, that's better. Vacuum hose to the rescue. Apparently I've been too busy figuring out my life slash trying to soak up the last few solid days of summer to attempt to actually show face at this place. But that's perfectly fine with me because I've been pretty damn happy this past week and my motto is to basically just do whatever it is that gets you to that point, so here we are. 

But with summer winding down and my two months of "I'm going to do whatever I want for a couple months and figure out what to do with myself later" expiring pretty much today, I think it's time I hop back on the blog train. All the other bloggers are coming back now too, right? The sunshine bug that took us all out of commission for awhile is about to be sent packing into fall boots and infinity scarves, so I say it's about time. Then again maybe I should just hold on to that bug for a little while longer since I don't think I'm even making a single ounce of sense right now. 

Le sigh. That's what happens when you've been out of practice. Things get more awkward than Taylor Swift at an award show.

And I digress…

So as for that whole "figuring out what to do with myself" thing. We're getting there. Slowly but surely. A couple weeks ago I posted about my life choices and how I was attempting to decide between four different options. If you're too lazy to click that link, then shame on you, I could really use the page views around this barren land. That was rude. But anyway, those options were: moving back to my apartment in NYC, going to Israel to keep nannying for my nanny family, staying home to save money and take classes, or moving somewhere completely new.

The winner has been chosen and I've decided to stay home for awhile. Which is pretty much the most anticlimactic ending to this decision making process, but I'm currently 110% happy with it.

So, starting tomorrow, I'll be going back to school to take digital photography and graphic design classes. And now that I just officially wrote that down in one solid sentence, it's all becoming really real. Here's a collection of feelings I have about it all.

"Wait what? Did I really just say I'm going back to college? Doubleyou tee eff?!"

"Oh my God, I get to go buy fun notebooks and mechanical pencils and pick a first day outfit!"

 "Let's hope I'm actually good at this shit, fingers crossed I guess."

"I plan on trying to be as invisible as possible since I'll be 25 in a room full of 18 year olds."

"I never could get financial aid the first time around but now that I'm an independent I can. 
Free money? Fuck yes!"

"The realization that I have to sit in a classroom for nine straight hours moment of petrified horror."

But really when all is said and done, I honestly truly just feel like this:

Because I really am so unbelievably excited. I could go on for days, scratch that, YEARS about how much I think our educational system is screwed up and wasted on the indecisive young. But I'll save that for a later date. Just know that I think my time spent at college the first time around was an absolute waste. Because most 17 year olds don't have a damn clue what they want for breakfast, let alone what they want to do for the rest of their lives. Except society tells us we "need" to go to school and thus we rush into it and drop bucket loads of cash to do so.

I'm getting carried away.

Anyway, now I'm just crazily thrilled to finally have a real direction, a passion, something that I'm over the moon excited about learning, something that I need to learn in order to be able to live out my current goals and dreams. And on top of that, the ability to go back and only take the classes I find interesting, those I know will further my skills in the areas that I want furthering, not gen-ed crap that I won't remember two weeks after the final. 

So it all begins tomorrow. I'm nervous to shit, but I'm excited as all hell.

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