This is How a Heart Breaks

It's odd that I feel the need to come here to update the blogging world about my life. I'm not sure if it's crazy or sad or healthy or what, but when something life altering happens to me, I eventually think "Shit, how the hell am I going to blog about that?" within a matter of a day or two after said life altering thing happens. 

It's crazy that this is the world we live in - the one where it's just completely commonplace to let people you don't talk to on a daily basis know what you're up to. Even if you don't blog and just post things on Facebook, most all of us do it in some capacity. It's sad that informing the blog world about my newest life change is something that crosses my mind so quickly because it'd be nice to just wallow in my own thoughts for a little while without that sense of urgency. But then again it's also healthy to explode your feelings somewhere instead of keeping them all bottled up inside your head. Maybe the explosion should happen on a therapist's couch instead of a public forum on the internet, but hey, to each their own I guess right?

But as for the life update and the explosion of feelings. I don't think I'm ready to go all into it. Actually, I know I'm absolutely nowhere near ready to go all into it. Because my heart has pretty much been stuck in a blender on high for the past three days and now it's just dumped out on the floor in a heartbroken puddle wondering how in the hell it got here and how on earth it's going to stitch itself back together. And when a heart goes through that much turmoil, it needs some time. A lot of freaking time. 

And a lot of listening to Taylor Swift songs, whoops. So for now I'll pretty much just be trying to keep my head up, my eyes dry, my memories repressed, and myself occupied. 

The first stop on that journey is Orlando for the next six days to see Whitney. Because drinking Miller Lite's, hanging out in the pool, snuggling with Ella, and celebrating the birth of my favorite unicorn are probably some of the best ways to begin this long and hellish climb back up to the strong and independent girl I know that I am. She's buried deep down under quite a bit of sadness right now, but I know I'll get there. So bare with me while I sort out my thoughts and my life and probably take a bit of a breather from this place I like to come to so often. And maybe just send a few Chipotle coupons my way, because girlfriend needs some comfort food right about now.

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