Okay, so this post is more about types of friends instead of friendships, but I'm too lazy to go back and change the above picture. It's all the same at the end of the day anyway, right? Let's get to it.
1. The one you met in college that you honestly wonder how you ever spent the first 18 years of your life not knowing. I mean, was there ever even a time you were happy without each other? If there was, it's rather bizarre to even think about. It's as if the skies opened up and aligned the stars just so you two soul mates could finally meet each other. And the world just wasn't completely right until you came into the lives of one another.
2. The one that talks shit to you about all of her other friends. So god only knows she must talk shit to all of her other friends about you. Tread lightly and watch what you say with this one.
3. The one you've had since 2nd grade that you don't really have anything in common with anymore but "Oh my god, we've been friends for twenty years, how crazy!" so you stay in contact and maintain a relationship anyway. Because why not, right?
4. The one you should have probably been born as conjoined twins with since you basically act like you are anyway. I mean, you have determined that the "Two Girls Holding Hands and Kind of Dancing" emoji was made solely just for you two, haven't you? And why would you ever go to the bathroom alone when she's also hanging out in the bar with you? Dragging her away from the bartender to accompany you would be way less weird than going in alone to pee in privacy like any other average human would.
5. The one that becomes jealous of you and remains your surface-level friend for awhile but is secretly trying to cut you down with every knife in a Bobby Flay's kitchen.
6. The one that's only ever a one-way street. Her life and her problems are the only things that are ever discussed. It's as if you're a robot with no emotions, issues, or happenings of your own that could ever possibly need to be brought up. And her life's problems are so abundant that she's pretty much nothing short of toxic to you anyway. Good riddance to this one because she's not going to be building you up in any way whatsoever.
7. The one you can go months without talking to, yet still wholeheartedly love just as much as you did when you used to talk to her every day. She's also the one you can not see for a year but can still pick right back up where you left off, just as comfortable as ever, without missing a beat. This one is undeniably special, hold on to her.
8. The one that hooks up with all of your ex-boyfriends and ex-flings and ex-anythings, really. Because apparently there aren't a few billion other members of the human race walking around with penises attached to themselves on this planet. Completely mind boggling, I know. But a dumb hoe is a dumb hoe is a dumb hoe.
9. The one that you call up when all your other friends are busy because you really need someone to go to happy hour with. She's definitely a real friend, just not one of your closest real friends, I guess.
10. The one you can tell anything and everything to. The one you call when you break down crying in the middle of the street and need to calm down. The one that gets you better than you get your own self. The one that knows exactly what to say, exactly when you need to here it. The one that can give you her honest opinions and even though they might sting, you know she's 100% right in saying them. The one you'd have to be sedated for weeks should anything ever happen to her. She's your person. And she makes all the shitty types of friends you've encountered along the way completely and totally worth it.
P.S. Since I'm saying goodbye to NYC on Saturday and will be having some new life changes coming my way, I figured it was as great of a time as ever to have my first Etsy store sale! So everything is 50% off until midnight tonight. That means all prints are just FIVE FREAKING DOLLARS! Use the code "BYEBYENYC" to get the discount. And check out my site here. P.P.S. The print from above is my personal favorite and current best seller!