I have roughly eight hours until I'm officially on vacation, yet again, for an entire nine days spent in paradise. Plus I have a couple important things weighing on my brain that need some attention before that magical hour of "pour me a cocktail eh pour me a few cocktails, I'm on vacation" arrives. Which brings me to my point of not having anything whole and rounded to share with you today. I really just have seventeen thousand different thoughts running through my head and when that happens, we get lists. Really random ass lists. So here we go.
1. Cruises are the easiest vacations in the world to pack for. Four bikinis, seven dresses for dinners, cover ups for daytime, sunglasses, sandals, heels, a detoxed liver, done. You can find my booty on the beach.
2. I weighed myself this morning even though I said I wasn't going to. 112 pounds. That means I have a cushion of six pounds to gain over the next week before tipping over my "high end" of the ever fluctuating scale that is my body's weight. Bring on the jumbo shrimp cocktails, the endless crab legs, the 24/7 buffets, the plates of french fries taking up its own lounge chair next to me on the top deck by the pool, the ice cream cone making machine, the cheesecake every single night, the abso-friggen-lutely best dinners ever, oh and the countless cocktails I'm about to consume . I'm ready for ya bitches.
3. Speaking of weight, there's that whole issue about the #bikinibridge thing going on. Whether it be a hoax or not, it's really freaking annoying. A) For all the women looking down on themselves thinking they need one, as well as B) For all the women who don't have one shaming those who do.
You're not disgusting if your skinny enough for your body to allow you to have a gap between your tummy and bikini. And you're not disgusting if you have enough body fat to not allow your bikini to make a gap above your tummy either. Stop the nonsense, stop judging others and more importantly, stop judging yourself. If you want a bikini bridge, work your ass off to get one. If you think it's utter ridiculousness; ignore it. Maybe then we wouldn't have morons trying to create an uproar on social media. Oh and morons actually believing making and/or believing idiotic shit like this. Lord help us all.
4. I have a really hard time painting my nails any color other than red or pink. Actually, I take that back. I seriously just cannot paint my nails any color other than red or pink. It's physically impossible for me. I've strayed into the Essie Smokin' Hott territory a few times and I'll give myself a french manicure any day of the week but anything other than that and I freak out.
P.S. normal girls show off their manicures on top of pretty decor. Me? I just do it on top of Chipotle bags. Whatever works right? P.S. Why did I have to get my dad's pudgy midget sausage fingers...
5. I get really weirded out hearing my own voice. I took a video of me and the nanny kid yesterday because he was adorably trying to say eggplant. Somehow his "eh" sounds involve him needing to stick his tongue out? Anyway, I kept playing it back for him to watch and each time I'd do it I would cringe at the sound of my voice. It's the oddest thing ever. Just about as odd as girls who wear their hear down at the gym. Or those that choose the treadmill right next to you when there are five other free ones available. This is New York City, we are not friendly to strangers. Especially when at the gym.
6. If you don't follow me on Instagram, you probably didn't see the gorgeousness that arrived in my mailbox last week. And if that's the case then that's a darn shame because it really was a beautiful site. You're probably thinking a puppy showed up with a bow tied around it's head. Or a keg full of Miller Lite came rolling through the lobby. But no, instead it was just the most girly and perfect pair of pink Hunter boots.
There will obviously be some sort of fashion related post coming to these pages sometime soon (still trying to figure out that new camera) involving these bad boys. I'm also already planning on how I can incorporate them into my Valentine's Day outfit. So stay tuned for many, many more pictures of these beauts.
And on that note, I think I'm about done for the day because I couldn't think of a prettier way to end a post unless I stuck Natalie Portman in here herself. Woman crush…Friday?
Anyway, I'm obviously going to be a bit MIA next week since I'll be sailing around the Caribbean islands on a ship the size of Rhode Island. Per usual, I slacked my ass off and have absolutely nothing planned for any of the five days next week. I'm honestly so good at life, I know. So unless I come up with five people to send me a guest post in the next eight hours or I whip up some posts by the end of this day, I'll see you all back here with tan lines on the 20th. Don't do anything too crazy while I'm gone okay?
Today I have Kelly from Petite Ramblings here taking over and sharing three of her favorite pictures with you all!
1) This is a shot from my very first photoshoot. I had been following a pin-up photographer Miss Missy for a few years and had always wanted to work with her. I am by no means a pin-up model or even have pin-up style but I thought it would be super fun to play around with. Not only was it fun, it was a huge confidence booster. Not just because of the makeup, but the style of the shoot. To be "sexy", because that is something I am NOT! I'm goofy and clumsy, so it was a lot of fun to be different!
2) My brother and sister. Also known as 2 of my favorite people in the whole world. They both live back home in Boston and I every single day I miss them more than I could ever put into words. My brother Kevin is a few years older than me and has always been my protector and savior since we were kids in a really chaotic home. My sister Erica is almost 19 years younger than me and is legit my mini-me. She owns my heart.
3) My boys!! My boyfriend Robert and our little fur child DeNiro. My little family. Robert and I have been together for almost 3 years but we dated when we were like 13. Such a big deal! We adopted DeNiro a year ago when he just a tiny little 3 month old kitten. He was found on the streets and you can tell, he gets kinda thuggish ruggish sometimes. (just kidding, he's a total wimp!)