My Mental State is a Grama

So I have succumbed to yet another stupidly pointless viral Facebook trend. The Mental Age Test. It's been going around town faster than Christmas carols in the month of December, but for some odd reason I was intrigued by it. That odd reason most likely being boredom. Why else would one click on some rinky-dink online test determining something as indeterminable as the age of one's mental state? Oh I know, because I was in the middle of taking an online tutorial class trying to learn how to use this damn DSLR camera of mine before I resort to turning it into a paperweight for the nonexistent desk I have in my apartment. But the dude teaching it was most likely certified in the ability to induce yawns  rather than in teaching me how to take better selfies. 

So thus, the quiz was taken. 

And then the answer shocked the shit right out of me (that's disgusting Erin). No but really, I was kind of stunned by the results. So much so that I re-took it immediately afterwards just to see if it would randomly spit out a completely different number. Wrong, I got the same exact one. Obviously I'm not an idiot enough to put all my eggs in one Facebook trend and it probably means absolutely nothing. Okay it does mean absolutely nothing. But it was still fun. Or not fun, depending on how you look at things.

So my actual age is a ripe 24. My mental age…

Wait for it. 

36. Thirty mother fuggin' six. A three followed by a six. An entire twelve years older than I actually am. Is this real life or is my boy Ashton going to show up in the next hour and shove a camera in my face asking me how I feel about being Punk'ed? I mean, I absolutely expected it to not come back at my current age. I've always said (and a lot of other people have always said) that I act older than I am. It's nothing new to me or anyone that actually knows me. It's both a good and a bad thing in my opinion. 

I was mature enough to (usually) always make the right decisions growing up. I have a solid understanding of what it is I need to keep my head on the straight and narrow by staying responsible and level headed. It has always been second nature for me. I graduated college with a four year degree at the age of twenty for goodness sake. I've always been a bit ahead of the pack personality wise. If only my twelve year old face could catch up, right? But at the same time, being the girl that thinks before she acts and tends to not veer too far off the beaten path can cause you to miss out on some things in life. I kept myself pretty sheltered in high school because I wanted to be the "good girl". But I'm sure I could have had a bit more fun if I had chosen to act my actual age rather than five years older. 

And maybe that's the same thing happening right now and I just don't realize it.

In New York City age is pretty skewed. The early twenty somethings here are all heading to clubs on the weekends, swiping through Tinder as a second job, spending every penny they make, and not thinking much at all about settling down and starting a life with someone forever. We're told to not even ponder that thought until 30 here, by the way. Who's telling us that, I'm not sure but it's there regardless. Because I've met quite a few 30 year olds who act just as much like they're in college at times as those I know who actually are in college. Meanwhile, in a lot of other areas around the country girls have already walked down the aisle, popped out a kid, and are in the process of cooking up another by my age. 

And I'm totally not saying one version is right and the other wrong. Nor am I saying that this is a hard and fast rule for just New York or that there aren't plenty of exceptions to the rules. But in this city, I do feel like I fit more in the upper twenty something crowd rather than my own. And I sometimes question whether I should feel that way. Should I be going to clubs and living it up while I'm young? Should I be putting off all those thoughts of wanting to start a life with someone and settle down? Should I be acting like the "typical" young twenty something?

I already knew the answer to those questions as soon as I started typing them out. Duh, the answer is no. Because I tend to love acting older than I am. Yeah I might miss out on a few half-naked bottle service waitresses carrying sparkling bottles of champagne my way but I'm pretty damn content with that. I'd much rather be the girl that had her shit together too early and missed out on some fun than the girl that got her shit together too late and ended up wreaking havoc in all aspects of her life. 

Now as for that 36 thing... I don't really think I act an entire twelve years older than I am but if my mental state is anything like this Grama then I'm a okay with that.