The Trust Rule

It's time, my friends. Time for some more life advice from my dear old dad. He may try to purposely annoy me. He may ask too many darn questions in a row. He may hog all of the time allotted in group conversations. He may butt in during the middle of a tv show and want to know the entire story line's background. He may actually be one of the strangest people I know (love ya dad) and he may feel the need to assign numbers and percentages to anything and everything…but boy does the man know his stuff. Because when he offers up his advice you better hold tight to whatever it is he's saying and adapt it to your life.

If you were around for "The Dice Rule" you'll probably agree with that last statement without me even needing to convince you. Because that piece of advice was so on point that I think we're missing out on a New York Times best seller by keeping it a blog post and not turning it into a dating advice book. One day my friends, one day. But today it's time for another rule and another blog post. Except for this time I'm going to copy the email from my father that showed up in my inbox last week suggesting this be my newest post. It's just simply more hilarious that way. Take it away faja.

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So you've all heard of the dice rule. Erin spelled it out very accurately. Well here is yet another one of Dad’s, Pop’s, or Mr. Kim’s rules (P.S. yes my name is Kim. I am a he, never once a she). Let’s call this one "The Trust Rule”.

For some reason people think they deserve 100% trust in a relationship. Well I have always told people and yes, even my lovely wife, that you should never trust anyone 100%. At all, ever. And on top of that, you should never expect 100% trust from anyone in return. People really tend to go nuts when I say that.

(Pic of squirrel with many nuts)

And they go even more nuts when I say I trust my dog the most, my mother second, and my wife third. Let's take a little look at my trust scale and check out the assigned percentages for my top three trusted individuals.


P.S. you can't replace the word 'dog' with the word 'cat'. Just don't even try it. It's my scale and this is the way it's going to be. Sorry bloggers. But think about this for a minute, how many of you have severally disciplined your beloved furry friend of a pup...

(Pic of a sad dog in the corner)

...just to say two seconds later in a cute happy voice "come here girl" and have her come jump in your arms and lick your face like no tomorrow.

(Pic of you or someone else being licked by dog or puppy)

That is true unconditional love and trust because they cast no past judgment on your previous actions minutes later. It is they who have forgiven and trusted you unconditionally. Thus it makes it the easiest to trust them in return the most out of anyone else in your life. But then your dog goes and shits on the floor, thus the 95% trust level. Nobody is perfect, not even your dog.

Human nature however will not go as far as dogs. The closest we find it is in the relationship between that of a mother and child...which brings me to second number on the list. Mothers will do almost anything for their children. As a father, I think there is no human bond stronger. I watched it during the birth of both my children. I was leaps and bounds behind their mother as soon as they heard her heartbeat. But then again, mothers and their children can and do still turn on each other. So they get a 93% from Mr. Kim.

So this brings me to the third item on the list. What I think "the best a partner deserves” is a 90% trust level. Continuously searching for 100% trust in your partner and trying to receive it in return will just make you go damn near crazy.

(Should I do a Dad crazy face?)

Think about it, the two cases of trust that I pointed out previously deserve a higher trust level than you do in your own relationship. You're just searching for something from your partner that for the most part can't even be expressed in yourself. Humans are not perfect! We are selfish animals. We are born to make mistakes and thus lose trust. The key is holding on to the 90% trust level the best you can by not repeating the same mistakes over and over again in your relationship. Because making those mistakes over and over again will be the fastest way possible to lose your partner's trust. But if you can admit to yourself that there will always be that 10% chance of distrust from both you and your partner and you work your ass off at holding onto the 90% that you do have, then all your worries will subside.

You just have to let yourself be okay with the fact that there will always be that possibility of dishonesty or failure. It happens often enough in plenty of relationships that it would just be foolish not to acknowledge it. But as long as you know it's there, you'll be able to (hopefully) know how to avoid it. And that's the key.

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And there you have it friends. Yet another sound piece of life advice from the daddio. Sorry about the lack of photos. Buttt umm, I pretty much peed my pants from all the recommendations for the ones he thought I should pick out for the post so I just had to leave them there. That and I don't really need to have "squirrel with many nuts" show up in my site referrals for the rest of eternity.