Wisdom Teeth Adventures

I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday morning at the crack of dawn. I was on vacation in Florida for the five days leading up to it (I'll recap that post eventually) (maybe). But today all I have on my mind is this damn sore, puffy, stitched up mouth of mine and it's causing me to want to do nothing but be one with my couch. So you won't be getting any Floridian double date adventures. You'll just be getting a recap of my thoughts over the course of my wisdom teeth experience. Here we go:

Bu bu but I don't wanna look like an obese chipmunk. Sad face, sad face, sad face. And why did I leave the 85 degrees of Orlando for the 35 degrees of Upstate New York face.


Why didn't I choose to do this surgery at a place where they knock me completely out instead of just drug/gas/novocaine me?

My mouth is the size of a twelve year olds. How do they plan on getting all those hands in there?

Hey at least they gave me a blanket and told me to bring my iPhone for music. Nothing like listening to the #backthatazzup station while getting Tonka Truck sized teeth pulled out of your jaw.

I just saw blood all over the doctor's gloves. Nooooo. Why did you open your eyes Erin, why why why?!

He's actually putting his entire body's force into trying to get this one tooth out. I may vomit. But my mouth is wide open and I'm laying on my back. I will NOT die like Jane in Breaking Brad, I will not.

That's exactly what I'm going to do when I get out of this chair. Catch up on the last two seasons of Breaking Bad. Hellz yes, I guess this isn't so bad after all.

Hey, my favorite song's on! I wish I could dance.

They just asked me if I wanted to see my teeth while they're stitching my gums back together. Are these people on this laughing gas shit or am I?

NO I DO NOT WANT TO SEE MY FREAKING TEETH!

Wow, I made it through. We're actually all done and I lived. I really really lived. 

I want Chipotle damnit.

I guess it's time to Instagram myself looking like death with an ice pack attached to my face to prove I'm alive.


Oh hey couch, say hello to my ass. You and I are going to make quite the team for the next couple days.

Why am I 24 and not 4 so that my mom could take this good care of me all the time again?

Welp, nothing like Chicken and Stars for breakfast.

P.S. Hey Campbell's let's try making the drinking spout thing a little larger so that those poor little stars can actually make their way into my mouth and not get stuck in the bottom of the cup resulting in me needing to use a spoon to release them from an untimely trip to the garbage even though the entire point of "Soup on the Go" is to, umm, bring it on the go aka NOT NEED A SPOON.

Drugs are talking.

Welp, nothing like mashed potatoes for lunch.

Welp, nothing like another bowl of soup for dinner.

Did I mention I wanted Chipotle?

Thank goodness to all heck that I'm home recovering from this surgery instead of in the city with the boyfriend because I'm pretty positive it'd be over if he ever came in contact with this lopsided hippo face.

How many popsicles do you think a person could eat in one day? Is that in the World Record Book?

I looked it up and the answer seems to be 200. I think I can do this.
Can I even open my mouth wide enough to fit a popsicle in my mouth, though? (That's what she said)

On that note I think I need to put myself back to bed. Where are my triple the average size ibuprofen, let's do this thing.

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And while I'm off doing that I'll have Lisa from Two Martinis take over and introduce herself to all of you because anyone with an alcohol filled blog title is a okay in my blog book.


1. What is the first thing you'd grab if your house was burning down? 
Ozzie, of course! If Oz could run out on his own, I would grab our computer, because we still don't have our pictures backed up online and I would be sooooo sad if I lost our photos!

2. If you could take home one animal from the zoo the snuggle with which one would it be?
Well when we were on a safari in Africa, I couldn't get enough of the elephants or giraffes. But I doubt either of those are very great at cuddling... So maybe a baby leopard? Or a monkey, I could totally see a monkey being awesome at cuddling, and picking bugs out of my hair.

3. Your life is a dessert, which one is it?
Mint chocolate chip ice cream. There's really no reason behind this, I just REALLY love mint chocolate chip ice cream.

4. Check out more from Lisa over here?
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