If you're looking for a blog post with real meaning and purpose then this is not the place for you today. Apparently I'm hanging out in one of those annoying blog ruts this week. It's gotten to the point where I just start tweeting things like "I don't feel like being a blogger today." Yup, sounds about right. Maybe this has something to do with the fact that it's Whitney's day of birth tomorrow and I can't be there to celebrate with her because airplanes are expensive and I haven't figured out how to flap my own wings yet. Le sigh...
So what's the opposite of having a real purpose? A whole bunch of randomness smashed into one grab bag of "Erin's brain is all over the place so just go with it". Here we go...
Numero Uno: I mentioned using greek yogurt instead of sour cream last night on Twitter but I feel like I should make it a PSA here as well. My friend Laura had me over for tacos one night while I was home on vacation and blew my mind with this trick. We had the taco shells, meat, lettuce, cheese, beans, etc. all out on the table ready to be housed by one hungry Erin...but then there was also a container of Greek yogurt chillin' there too. You know, the plain weird kind that Uncle Jesse tries to sell on tv? That one. Well she told me that it tastes just like sour cream and is probably 1/3rd of the calories.
I'm not one to really give a flying eff about the nutritional value of anything so I didn't really care but I am growing older and my ass isn't getting any smaller so I might as well start making small life changes where I can if they taste the exact same right? And boy do they taste the same. So you should follow suit and make the switch as well. Just don't be one of those weirdos that eats it for breakfast in the morning because I might throw up on you. But if you like spooning sour dairy products into your mouth like it ain't no thang then by all means go for it.
Dos (Equis): Someone come lock me in a dungeon and don't let me escape until I get some blog designing done. I apologize to all my lovely wait listers who've been hanging out so patiently while I get my life slowed down and back to business. I'm working on things, I promise! There WILL be a pretty new design coming to you in the next couple weeks.
Three: The Bachelorette. The damn freakin' Bachelorette. I got my heart broken into a million and one pieces two months ago and then ABC had to go and basically repeat steps one through five on a tv show for me to have to sit through and watch? Torture. Chris Harrison really wasn't lying this season when he said it was the most dramatic finale...ever. For once the dude was on point.
And since we're on the crappy television train, I really need to complain about The Vineyard on ABC Family. I refuse to even let myself watch it because I miss Laguna Beach so much and I know it's just going to be a hyped up, scripted, impostor (with way too many pieces of The Black Dog apparel plastered the entire way through). It's not okay. Like it's so scripted it makes me want to stab my own eyeballs out with a dull butter knife. Bring back Stephen Colletti and Talon and nobody gets hurt.
Four: You know how I mentioned my ass not getting any smaller in #1? Yeah, about that. Did you see this week's Kardashian's episode where Khloe was trying to squeeze her junk into a wetsuit and it looked more awkward than Shamu trying to fit into a paper straw? I feel like I can relate to her. Not so much the fitting into things but more of the awkward moments when I'm strolling the little man down the sidewalk and take a quick glance at myself in a building window while wearing a maxi dress and BAM Kardashyass all up in my face.
Maybe maxi dresses just accentuate the badonk? Or maybe I really should just embrace the fact that my beer gut goes back there instead of to my actual gut? Or maybe I should just stop letting my chicken nuggets drown themselves in the ranch dressing before they're allowed to get in my mouth. It's one of the three, I just know it.
Five: I've fallen in love with an Instagram account. It's called Sensational Bulldogs and it's my newest guilty pleasure. You know, besides The Bachelorette, ABC Family crap, and Kardashians... But back to the dogs. Bulldogs on bulldogs on bulldogs. Bulldogs at the grocery store. Bulldogs on couches. Bulldogs at the vet. Wrinkly bulldogs. Puppy bulldogs. You name it, they've got it. It's probably not the smartest account to follow right now since we all know I'd probably give a few fingers and toes to have one right now but whatever. Can't stop, won't stop.
And with those faces staring at you I think this is now an acceptable time to make my exit. You really won't be missing me with these little buddies staring back at you. I'm off to go steal one off the street and stick it in front of a freezer so I can laugh my ass off for another five minutes straight. Happy humpday ladies and gents.