Copy Cat Chipotle Corn Salsa

If you asked me what my favorite type of food was I'd probably spit out the words Chinese or Mexican within a solid negative six seconds. In my past life I was some sort of a combination of the two, no doubt about it. The nationality that is; not the food. And depending on the day, I can say I lean towards one or the other. For instance, on Sundays at about 10:30am when I wake up after a night out you can find me counting down the minutes until eleven when I can finally click "submit" on my chicken and broccoli with a side of white rice order. But then we get to Monday night and margs start with the letter 'm' and, oh look, so does Monday - smash 'em together and bam I'm on my way to Marg Monday.

But this past weekend played out a little differently. I didn't go out on Saturday so I was perfectly content waking up on Sunday (I still ate the leftover Chinese from the day before but let's not dwell on that fact) which meant that I could be aggressive enough to go grocery shopping for ingredients to actually whip up a recipe. Something that happens once in a blue moon, and I'm not talking about the beer. 

For once. 

And after dropping fifty bucks on three bags of groceries (thanks for that swift kick in the ass New York City) that's exactly what I did. A handful of ingredients, twenty minutes, and a few stirs later we had ourselves a killer snack. A killer snack in the form of one of my favorite foods from one of my favorite places to get food. Chipotle. Which by now you know that I am beyond obsessed with. And if you didn't know, then well, the proof is in the pictures:

Oh Chipotle. You are the root of all things happy and all things flabby and as much as I try to quit you I just can't stop and won't stop...probably ever. Plop a burrito bowl in front of my face at just about any time of the day and I'd give you 1,000 kisses for it. It's like they sprinkle unicorn laughs laced with crack in there, I'm so addicted. And part of the reason for that is because of their salsa. But not the normal tomato salsa, the CORN SALSA. Which is just about the best invention ever because if they just so happen to forget to put it in my bowl you bet your bottom dollar I will be walking my ass right back to get it put on. 

So what's a girl to do when you tell yourself you need to not eat Chipotle seven times a week but you still want the heaven that is their corn salsa? You Google that shit on Pinterest and learn how to make it yourself, that's what. Thus I give you...

And now you want to learn how to make it too, right? Well good thing that's the entire point of this post today because you're in luck my fellow Mexican lover. It's just about the easiest thing to make ever so don't expect too much direction out of me on this one. If you need someone to hold your hand through it all then grab a Corona.

What you're going to need in order to make this dish of mouth watering goodness:

1 12oz bag of frozen corn - thawed, le duh (if you want to get fancy and use corn on the cob I applaud you)
2 jalapeños - de-seeded and chopped, unless you want your mouth to burn your house down
1/3 cup of red onion - chopped
3/4 cup of cilantro - chopped, unless you want it to hang out in your teeth all day
1 lime - for the juice
1 lemon - for the juice
1 grapefruit - you get the idea by now
A pinch of salt and pepper

What you're going to need to do in order to make this dish of mouth watering goodness:

Combine the corn, jalapeño, onion, and cilantro in a mixing bowl and do the obvious...mix.
Then squirt your fruits over the top of all your mixed up stuff...and mix again.
Throw some pepper and salt in there.
Take pictures of your creation and Instagram the heck out of it to feel cool.
Open a bag of tortilla chips and do work.

And if you suck at following directions and call yourself a "visual learner" then here's what all of that will look like in picture form. You're welcome. 
And there you have yourself some copy cat Chipotle corn salsa. Eat your heart out. And then go eat this. Because it's just about the most perfect and easy thing to bring to any summer dish to pass. Especially since the corn stalks are almost ready to be hacked down to sweeten up my life. And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go grab mine out of the fridge and gain a pound or two.

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