Today marks the second most important holiday of the year. Number one being my birthday and number two being Whitney's. Sadly the airplane gods decided to royally screw us (once again) and jack up the rates especially for us so I am not in Florida celebrating this day. It's like they know they're ruining our lives and shitting on all of our fun and they just don't care. In the words of Michelle Tanner...HOW RUDE.
But I can't talk about that too much or else I'll start to cry. And Whitney is the only one that's allowed to do that today because it's her party. Or something. So instead I'll just write a little birthday letter to the star of the show.
To my dearest blog land bestie on her birthday: You came storming into my life faster than the first shot of Fireball you shoved down my throat at our first get together. And while I was a tad bit hesitant that I was going to get catfished by you and poisoned by the whiskey, instead you settled into my life just as easily as that shot did.
From that moment on I knew that we would be absolutely inseparable and boy was that the understatement of the century. See exhibits A-H below (and imagine exhibits I-Z that don't quite fit into a proportional sized collage) to prove this point.
Without you my days would be as dark as the bags under our eyes after a night out at the bar downing every last drop of Miller Light in the place. And by downing every last drop of Miller Lite in the place I mean that in the most literal sense possible. Because, you know, it's happened a time or two when we combine forces. Ain't no shame in that. Until the next morning at least...
Without you I would have lost my wallet on a parking garage roof my first night in Florida. I wouldn't know that it is absolutely insanely necessary to ask the hibachi man for double white sauce while ordering. I wouldn't have acted like a fool and bawled my eyeballs out in a bar to a guy I just met because you got on an airplane and went home. I'd have to do my eye makeup all by myself. I'd have had no reason to ever give my apartment keys to the scarf dude outside my building. I would have never experienced the joy that is skipping through Harry Potter world or Cocoa Beach (although I could have gone without the lobster-eque sunburn I acquired). And most importantly, without you I'd still be moseying around blog land searching for a blog land besty.
There's no one else in the world I'd rather spend all of these moments with and there's only one person I'd ever want to consider the Amy Poehler to my Tina Fey. And that my pretty princess of a unicorn would be you.