If you guessed me you're wrong. And I'm super duper sad about it so let's not go there. But the only thing that makes my frown turn upside down is the fact that my parents are getting a puppy! Holy roly poly, I look like a kid after having eaten seventeen pixie sticks I'm so excited.
I mean did you get a good look at that face? She's basically just chillin' there playing it all cool as if she knows she's the cutest bundle of fur in the whole wide world. Umm and those freaking paws? Girlfriend is going to be one chubby little nugget. I cannot wait to squeeze and snuggle the daylights out of her. Oh and take 27.2 BILLION pictures of her. I'll be rolling around and kissing her head until the cows come home. And there are a lot of cows where I'm from. That's why I'm heading home on Friday because we're going to pick her up on Saturday from the breeder. Yeeeee!
Did you just catch that I said the word breeder? Did you cringe? Are you going to jump down my throat and give me a lecture about how "there are millions of dogs in the country looking for a good home that you could love on just as much so why on Earth would you think it's acceptable to go pay money to someone who breeds dogs and is only making the problem of overpopulation that much worse"? Phew that was a mouthful. But if you are, then save it. Please. Because I completely understand where you'd be coming from but I also know what it's like to be a part of a family that has bred dogs and the experience is unlike anything else.
Growing up I helped raise three separate litters of puppies and I'm thankful to my parents for it to this day. It's a learning experience that you absolutely cannot get from the Discovery Channel. There's so much excitement building up to it. I remember coming home every damn day asking if it was time yet. And when it finally was, I watched. I sat there staring at my old dog Sadie pop a little rat looking pup out of her hooha one by one. That's when I learned that giving birth is absolutely disgusting. Slimy shit everywhere. And that's when I also learned that a placenta was horrifying. I watched Sadie lick the nastiness off of each one until they all cried. And then I got to hold them. A tiny little baby puppy no more than five minutes old on my lap. I was amazed right then and there. Thus the obsession with puppies began...
I swear those are puppies and not a baby bats. I also swear I grew that helmet head of bangs out and got braces too...But back the the puppies and all the things I learned from raising them. During one of the births one of the little babes wasn't doing well. He couldn't breath and looked like he wasn't going to make it so my Papa Bear, Mr. Kim, came to the rescue, did CPR on it and saved its life. All in front of my very own eyeballs.
He also built the whelping box which is the place where the mom nurses and sleeps with all of her babies (and me on occasion) (the sleeping part, not the nursing part). And each and every time there would be a runt of the litter who quickly became my favorite (because I was a runt myself) and we'd have to help him nurse by pushing all of the big boys away who would try to steal his nip. Nip. What is stupid word.
Eventually they grew. And then grew some more. They stopped nursing and started eating mushy puppy food by the gallon. The runt sometimes took a little longer than the others so I would help him out by feeding him with a medicine dropper. They each developed their own personalities and thus were each given a different name. Star, Big Girl, Frick and Frack, ya know real sophisticated names. But I grew attached to each and every one of them and I looked like the picture below for the majority of my time with those little babes.
And once they were all old enough to be picked out by families, I was a mess. Duh. Picture the saddest little girl in all the land and you'd have me. I cried...quite a few times. But the beauty of raising your own litter of puppies? You get to keep one. And so we did. And we had a momma and her baby to add to the famdamily.
So while I understand the importance of adopting, I still wouldn't trade my experience with raising twelve puppies at a time for anything. I learned a ton and I loved a ton more. And on that note, I can't WAIT to love on the new little lady that joins the clan on Saturday. My heart is going to grow seven sizes too big, I can feel it now.
1. If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would you choose? Watermelon. I realize there isn't much too it, but I've been known to eat an entire medium sized watermelon myself within 24 hours (If you ever thought about practicing your peeing skills this is the way to do it).
2. Describe yourself in ten words. Chaotic, disorganized yet OCD, wino, world-traveler, bargain hunter, and healthfood junkie. I supposed I should put long-winded in that list, seeing as how it's impossible for me to use just ten words.
3. If I handed you eleventy million dollars what would you do with it? The obvious first of course...buy houses for my entire immediate family on some remote island. Shoot, I suppose I could just buy the island. Then I'll set a little bit aside for retirement (being a responsible human being). Lastly I'll use the rest to become a full-time traveler. It would be great to wake up and think: "What will it be today Amanda? South America? Europe? Australia?"
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