Five Reasons Why I Haven't Read Your Blog


1. I write my own blog. 
Okay, we all do this but sometimes I wonder how the blog world stays afloat because half of the time I'm too busy writing up my own damn posts to read any others. So how in the heck are all of you writing posts AND reading posts? It seriously blows me mind. But I praise the beer lord to all of you for it because you are the reason I keep writing. Just know that sometimes the only spare hour I have in a day goes to coming up with, writing, proofreading, and publishing a post so there's something for you to read here. 

2. I work. 
And 97.5 percent of the time I don't even constitute what I do as work. Nannying - it's pretty easy. Until you end up with poop on your finger and have to think twice before going and itching your allergy-infested eyeball. No pink eye for this chick, thank you. But even my laid back "job" that contains roughly three hours of me chillin' on the couch watching talk shows and eating Honey Nut Cheerios while the little man naps stilllll doesn't leave me the time. So for all of you with real, big people jobs? How do you do it?!

3. I use social media. 
It's becoming a major problem. Anyone close to me in my life has told me I'm addicted. Umm, it's 2013 (and a half) who in the heck hole isn't? But for real, sometimes I get over 13 hours behind because I'm busy being productive looking up bars with the cheapest happy hours and yet I still have to scroll through every single tweet. I can't allow myself to be behind. It's like a disease. Twitter alone takes up 1/4 of my day. Add in Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, Vine, and MySpace (wait no, not that) and you'll find yourself on the negative side of the "Do you have a life?" scale.

4. I watch tv. 
This. This is worse than social media. So much so that I've vowed to not pick up any new shows. I'm only allowed to watch the ones I've already seen in life. Therefore I have about 39 and a half options to choose from...and that's just in one night. Especially if it's a Monday. My DVR needs a full on cayenne pepper cleanse after Mondays roll around. It gets real rough over in these parts. Don't you dare tell Mr. DVR that Bachelor starts next week though, he'd easily pull a deliberate Regina George and throw himself in front of a bus.

5. I eat and drink. A lot. 
And it's hard to do this and something else at the same time. Eating is tough even while tweeting. I keep hoping Twatter will just find magic one day like Harry Potter at the zoo and start scrolling itself when it knows I'm eating. But it's still somewhat easy to manage because you only need one hand to scroll with - blogger gets a little trickier. You definitely need two. But one has a dino nugget in it so that ain't happening. Oh and the drinking part. No need to elaborate here. If I'm in a bar, I'm not reading your blog. And I'm in bars a lot. So you get the picture.

And that sums up why I suck at life and probably haven't visited your corner of the dot com world lately. I'm a little busy tweeting and eating and watching tv. Real important things, duh. 

***P.S. I really do read your blogs - don't disown me - this is all in good fun and games***

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I do actually have something that is important to share with you today, though. And that something is Lisa from Two Martinis. You know the blogger that wins the award for "Cutest Button On The Blog Block"? Yep, that's the one! I mean just look at it - aren't they the cutest things?


Guess you're going to find a picture of me doing this with my future husband someday. You've been warned.
Lisa is here to to answer some questions for all of you to get to know her better. Take it away lady:

1. Why did you start blogging? 
Oh I started blogging FOREVER ago to keep friends in the loop on my life events when I was traveling as a consultant 100% of the time. My good friends were my only readers, and that's the way I liked it. But then I had to delete that blog when I started dating my (now) husband so he wouldn't know what I was up to my single days... if you know what I mean. So now my blog is a bit less juicy but its purpose is mainly to let people know what's going on with us. I also like to write a little bit about being a newlywed, but not the domestic part of marriage... I'm a disaster in the kitchen and DIYs are way over my head. Now I love blogging because of the community, not to get all sentimental on you.

2. Is a martini your drink of choice?
Well, actually the inspiration for my blog's name came from what I drank on my last first date (with my now husband!), and I just happened to be in a martini mood that night. Nowadays, I tend to drink red wine at home, Moscow Mules when I'm out to dinner, martinis when I'm out with girlfriends, and Ketel & water after 10pm. So yeah, I guess I am a vodka girl but not to the extent the blog title would suggest!

3. Does your husband read your blog?
Evidently. I know this because the other day we were walking past a playground (where lots of children were playing) and out of nowhere he says (very loudly) 'acidic vaginal secretions?!' I almost died. I have no idea why he was thinking about it, but I guess he was thinking about a certain blog post where I may or may not have used that phrase.

4. What's your favorite thing about being married?
Being married is actually better than I expected it would be, let me just throw that out there. I never thought I would actually enjoy being around the same person every day, but he's pretty fun. I would say that my favorite thing is having a teammate to do fun things with, like travel and randomly dance around the house. Plus, he walks the dog and makes dinner more often than not. I'm a bit spoiled, I would say.

5. What's your idea of a really good day?
Waking up early, going to CrossFit, eating a delicious brunch, biking on the lakefront path, and then eating dinner with my husband and friends at some new restaurant in the city. And then drinking wine and passing out from a food coma. If I could include ice cream at some point in that day, I totally would.

You will notice, though, that she didn't discuss my two favorite things about her (besides the button).
A) She lives in Chicago - and that, my friends, is on my 2013 bucket list. So I hope she has a spare room for me whenever I get my ass in gear and decide to go visit that big silver bean and have my hair-a-flyin. But I'll have to carry around this post while I'm there.
B) Ozzie. Okay so she mentioned him one measly time but this obviously isn't enough for me and my dog-loving ways. Next time around - you're all meeting the little monster.

Check out Lisa here:

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