When I Grow Up


When I grow up:

I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna have groupies boobies.
(I wonder how many other people are going to start off with this one) (I really do want to have boobies though, I got shafted over here)

I'll own an iPhone 27s

I want to have Lisa Vanderpump's closet. In all seven of my homes.


I want to pet a platypus in Australia while riding a Joey Kanga after meeting Dory the fish.

I'll be a MILF.

I will own one of those guacamole carts like those little men stand behind at Mex restaurants.


I will not get fat or let myself go. Even if I eat guac every day. Three times.

I will spend more time playing freeze tag with my kids than playing Angry Birds with my kids.

I want to have a red couch stored away just to bring out for Christmastime decor.


I will cry big fat tears when my daddy walks me down the aisle.

I will choose happiness, always.

I want to hang my wedding dress up in my house instead of stuff it away in the closet.


I'll be able to sell my massive collection of Beanie Babies and make bank.

I will most likely still look like a twelve year old and be carded (up to three times) at bars.

I will have a picture taken of me in my wedding dress with Hunter boots on.


I will never give my children normal, common, everyday names.

I'll still dodge people who smoke cigs like they're the plague while walking down the street.

I'LL FINALLY HAVE A GOD DAMN PUPPY!


Now look deep into those adorable eyes and pretend they're telling you to:
 (1) Grab the button
(2) Follow your hosts
(3) Link up your post with me and Whitney
Because everyone is doing it and nobody is actually growing up.

Now I'm off to go spend half a day at work and then FI-NA-LLY freakin' flappin' flippin' meet Whitney and frolic/drink my ass off for the next four days straight. See ya on the flip side kids.

And if I don't make it out alive, well, then good thing I let you all know what I want to do when I grow up today since I won't be able to actually do any of it. Don't want to leave you all hanging or anything.
Cheers bitches!

Two Thirds Hazel


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