Things I Think While Wining

Do you ever just sit on your couch alone on a Friday night, drink some wine a bottle and let your mind wander? No? Oh. Well fine then, guess I'm the only weirdo. (shocking) But I did just that this past weekend while waiting for my roommate to get home so we could go out. Side note: see my eyeballs? There's make up on them. And that's some sort of miracle because it was the first time all week that such a fine accomplishment occurred.

Anyway, so yeah I was sitting on my couch drinkin' the wines and my brain was spinning so I decided to write down (in my iPhone notes app) (aka the only way I'll remember blog ideas) some of the things I was thinking so that you could share in my randomness. I'd share the wine too but I already drank it.

ONE // Men should automatically be happier in life than woman. Wanna know why? Of course you do. Because they get an extra thirty to fifty minutes of sleep every morning just because they don't have to blow dry/straighten/curl their hair and put on makeup. Lucky bastards.

TWO // People that budge lines make me want to drop kick them to Mars. Or to hell, but I might end up seeing them there again one day there, so let's stick with the planet. Those that pass every backed up car on the freeway and try to squeeze their way back in right at the end? Go drive yourself off a cliff. People that walk straight past you while you're waiting for the elevator and situate themselves right in front of you? Da fuk you thinking?

THREE // I'm extremely picky about engagement rings. I'm nowhere near close to having one of my own let alone do I even have a boyfriend, but man oh man...I am some sort of picky bitch about them. I think 90% of the ones I see are hideous. Oops!

FOUR // Finding out what radio hosts look like is like seeing real life pictures of bloggers. You know when you listen to your favorite radio personality for years and years and develop this vision of what you think they look like and then you finally see a picture of them and they are absolutely NOT what you thought? Yeah, that's like only getting to see a blogger's photoshopped face in their "Profile Pic" on their homepage and then one day seeing a full body image of them with no makeup on their Instagram. All I can say is whoa buddy, lay off the photoshopping kids.

FIVE // I get confused by people who wash their face religiously. Cleanser, toner, moisturizer, sunscreen, exfoliant, rinse, dry, repeat twelve hours later. What in the hell is all that about? Do people actually do all that? I wash mine with a face wash in the shower and maybe (and I really mean maybe) will use a wipe at night to take my makeup off. That's it. I don't think I should need a twelve page manual to get my face clean.

SIX // I am extremely paranoid about being late. If there is a remote possibility that I will be even five minutes late, I will let you know...and then probably still get there on time. I tend to arrive at least ten minutes early and end up looking like an asshole walking around waiting to show up on time. People that arrive late to important things like work, appointments, dinner reservations, etc. make me bonkers. It blows my mind that people think it's okay.

And there you have one of the most random posts as of late. I don't say "Welcome to the randomness" for when I meet new bloggers for nothing. Happy Monday!

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