Backing That Azz Up on Confessional Friday

1. I find it really devastating that girls are looking older and older at a younger and younger age every year. See that picture up there that I just recently #TBT-ed on Instagram? Yeah, that's what I looked like at the ripe age of 12. A flippin' baby! As girls should look at that age. I was still wearing clothes from the kid's section of Old Navy, bras were not needed, and I was chowing down baby bottle pops in my birthday pictures. Girls these days are wearing skinnies from Forever 21, push ups from Victoria's Secret, and making kissy faces to bottles of Smirnoff all while snapchatting pictures of their chesticles to them boyz. Lord help us all.

2. I have a fear of sleeping with my back to the door. I really think that some creepy murderer will walk in and just stand over my bed staring at me with one of those ghost masks on. So what I'm trying to say here is that I'm nuckin' futs.

3. I really dislike using sponges to wash my dishes. I think of it as a square piece of scum spreading diseased remnants of last night's chicken wings all over my beloved hand-painted wine glasses. Not cool. Might as well wash them in the toilet next time.

4. Speaking of toilets...I broke mine. The thing that connects the chain thing to the handle broke two weeks (I repeat TWO WEEKS!) ago so when you try to flush it you get nothing. So I have to have a balloon ribbon tied to the chain so you can pull that to make it go. I confess that I am so lazy I would rather deal with this monstrosity than call my landlord and have him fix it.

5. I drink so many strawbana smoothies that my tervis permanently tastes like bananer. I cannot drink water out of it because it tastes like I'm licking a monkey's butt. How does one fix such a catastrophe? I've soaked that thing long enough to give it prunes. Help! Update: you stick a pipe cleaner down your straw to clean that gunky banana sludge out of it. So fresh and so clean, clean.

6. I am so excited for tonight and this weekend that I just can't take it anymore. My momma comes tonight for a little girls weekend while my dad's away in Vegas. St. Patrick's Day aka "Erin Forever Day" aka "Frolicking around the city drunk" is Sunday. And then I'm on vacation for two whole weeks after that. Hello heaven and hello weekday happy hours.

7. I thought I was really bad back in 2000 when I started listening to Nelly's Country Grammar. And that was solely because of the swear words doing cartwheels through out every verse. I had no idea what "an L in the back of a limousine" was let alone what "some got jobs and some sell yea" meant, good god. One of my favorites was St. Louie but today I'm in an "Ei Ei Uh Ohhhhh" mood. So I'm linking it up for Whitney's #backthatazzup Friday. Enjoy kids.

P.S. if you want to not spend your own dollar bills the next time you accidentally walk into Sephora then you should probably enter this giveaway. Your face and wallet will thank you when you win.
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