These Are My Confessions

I finished a box of Triscuits (Roasted Garlic) and a tub of cream cheese (Onion and Chive) within three days. Three days. It's just too good. I recommend running to the nearest store right try it out yourself.

I got locked out of my apartment last Saturday night. I showed up at my doorstep at 4:00am in my teeny little black dress, five inch heels, McDonald's nugs in hand, completely sober and was forced to call my landlord (who lives downstairs) to let me in. He shows up IN HIS POLKA DOTTED BOXERS yelling at me that I need to "lose my keys at a more convenient hour next time". Yeah, I'll get right on that sir.

I'm contemplating changing my blog name. Thoughts?

I sometimes cringe when I read political Facebook statuses from some of the people in my hometown. I come from an extremely small area where quite a few kids tend to skip school on the first day of hunting season. So this new gun-control controversy? Yeah, mayhem. I'm not going to tell you my opinion on it (mainly because I don't even know the difference between a clip and round). But let's just say that I've had quite the internal battle on whether or not I should comment on some of the uneducated moronic posts I've come across the past few days.

My heart actually races when it's awards time on Dance Moms. My eyes actually formed tears when Chloe received the special "Expressive Heart" award. My brain needs to stop enjoying these types of shows.

I got a raise. A dolla makes me holla.

The first thing that popped into my head when I heard it was Betty White's 91st birthday yesterday was a fake funeral. As in I think the people of America should hold a fake funeral/celebration type thing for her. Because I know as soon as that fateful day comes when she's no longer with us the entire world will pour  out their emotions. So why not do it while she's alive so she can hear it all?!

I just learned this week what BFE stands for. But I still have no idea what meme or gif mean.

I use the little man I nanny for as a workout tool. Ie. lift him up and down over my head (for arms) and rock him to sleep by holding him squatting/bouncing up and down (for legs). Now on to find something for my abs...

I have not succumbed to watching Honey Boo Boo this season. You can come pat me on the back anytime you have a free moment.