Give Thanks

So we've all seen the "I am thankful..." blog posts and Facebook statuses floating around the world lately, right? If not, then you apparently don't have too many nice and thankful friends in the world.
But really, call me Scrooge or something but I find these things pretty damn boring.
They all seem to go a little like this:
Day One: I am thankful for my parents because without their support I'd be dead.
Day Two: I am thankful for my other family members because my crazy family makes me awesome.
Day Three: I am thankful for my health because without that (see number one)
Day Four: I am thankful for being able to afford the roof over my head because without it Sandy would have drowned me.
Day Five: I am thankful for my friends because they are my backbone through life.
Day Six: I am thankful for the best boyfriend any girl could ask for, I am so lucky, be jealous of me.
etc. etc. etc. yawn. yawn. yawn.
And I even made those a little more exciting than most of the ones I've seen just so I wouldn't lose you 1/4 of the way through this post.
So I knew I wanted to write one of these little lists myself because A) I love lists more than I love guacamole on a homemade tostito and B) Because what else would I write about during Thanksgiving week when all I'm doing is starving myself in preparation for Thursday's feast.
I kid, I kid. I don't think there will ever come a day when I starve myself for any reason what so ever.
Oh I just lied - my wedding day.
I'll be hungrier than that brunette haired brat in Center Stage whenever that day rolls around.
So here we own thankful list without all the sentimental obvious bull crap because my family and friends and non-existent boyfriend know I'm thankful for them already.
Shower drain catchers - because I shed more hair than you can even imagine and without those suckers I'd be standing in a foot of mucky water backed up in the tub every day. Cute right?
McDonald's workers - because they put up with about one drunk escapade for every nug I get in the wee hours of weekend nights.
My crock pot - because without that feeding me lunches for an entire week I would have wasted away by now.
Flannel Fair Isle holiday printed sheets - because they just make sliding into bed at night that much more thrilling.
Little forks - because big forks make your meals taste less exciting. I'm sure of it.
Gatorade - because it is heaven sent and saves your life on Sunday mornings.
Gummy vitamins - because they keep me healthy and young at heart, a win win combination right there.
Homeless NYC flashers - because they keep me on my work grind so that I never have to live on the streets and scare innocent little girls with my private parts. It happens people.
Tampons - because they keep life a whole heck of a lot cleaner ya know? Just try to imagine living without.
Justin Bieber - because without him who knows what all those little twelve year olds would be doing with their spare time.