If I Were A Boy...

Shades of Gray and a Pinch of Pink 

I'd finally be able to marry Anderson Cooper

I would be a boxer briefs over boxers kind of guy

I'd buy "just because" flowers frequently because I'd know that five dollars is the cheapest way to a girl's heart

I would not be insanely obsessed with bacon

I would educate all other men on the fact that jorts are never ever okay

I would put the toilet seat down and not bitch about it

I would also aim for the toilet and not the floor...or the wall...or the dog.

I would hire someone to take pictures of my proposal because Pinterest told me to

I'd be able to open pickle jars without the help of my father

I'd treat girls like I'd want guys to treat my sister

I would send good morning beautiful texts

I would eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted because my metabolism would be that of a five year old's

I would have a picture of Natalie Portman in my shower

I wouldn't wear tall socks with shorts because that just looks silly

I'd have a black iPhone because white should  obviously be reserved for girls

I would never fart and trap someone under the blankets

I would know that girls are lunatics and I'd get over ever trying to understand them

What would you do if you were a boy?
P.S. I'm linking up with Erin and Gay for this!