Friday's Letters

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Dear Christina Aguilera, What in the heck is going on with those utters every night on The Voice? Let's get it them together, shall we?
 
Dear Frosted Flakes, You've been making a mean cereal killer out of me this week.
 
Dear Halloween Costume, I will be starting you before October 30th this year. I promise.
 
Dear Ketchup and Butter, There is absolutely no reason that you should ever be mixed together, melted in the microwave, and poured over "sketti". I'm so sorry Honey Boo Boo tried to ruin you both.
 
Dear Kate Hudson, Umm can you say hello hottness?
 
Dear Sleep, I love you like crazy and all but it'd be great if you never existed. I could accomplish so much more in life without you. Oh and your friend Mr. Eating? Yeah I could've done without him too.
 
Dear Mom and Dad, Thank you for raising me right. You'll never know how much I appreciate your love and support.
 
Dear Sandals, I'm over you. Watch your back because you're about to get stored away any day now to make way for some boot action.

Dear America, It's really not the end of the world if a little tyke sports a bikini. Let's focus on more important issues.
Like Honey Boo Boo, and Xtina's tits, and what kind of cereal I'm eating.
 
Dear Central Park, You need to start whacking these disgusting, hideous, evil, despicable rapists around so they don't go molesting 75 year old women in broad daylight. Maybe we should plant some Whomping Willows?

Dear Hater, Thank you for giving me the most page views ever in my history of blogging these last couple days. Love ya :)

Dear Yankees, If the O's keep winning that means you have to as well so get your game face on because I'm comin' to scream cheer at ya tomorrow afternoon.
 
Dear Ryan Lochte, How are we ever supposed to compete with Miss USA? Come on mannn.
 
Dear Anderson Cooper, If you weren't old enough to have silver hair I'd totally want to marry you, you fine man you. Oh and if you actually digged the T&A that'd help too...
 
Dear Liver, Prepare yourself now because you're about to be put into overdrive this weekend. And I feel that since I gave you fair warning you should probably be nice to my head when I wake up. Just sayin'

Dear Inner Craft Queen, It's about time we got back on our game. I've been itching to make us a chalkboard for quite some time now.
 
Dear Life, You're kicking ass lately and I'm completely loving you for it so thanks.