These Are My Confessions

(1)
There is nothing more annoying in Blogland than accidentally hitting the publish button while writing a blog post.
Why does Blogger need to put the publish and save buttons so close together.
I'm too careless to actually pay close attention to what and where I'm clickin'

(2)
Target is bad for your health wallet.
Shocking, I know.
But I wanted to buy just about every single scarf in the joint.

(3)
I wish I was a college football fan so I could be as excited as everyone else about it starting tomorrow.
At least there's no start and end to the beer drinking season.
I'll be right there with y'all participating in that crazy game.

(4)
Vegetables are good for your health but also way boring.
I'd rather just wander around farmer's markets and take pictures than actually eat them.
I mean just look at those leafy greens.
Put those next to a chicken wing and tell me you'd still rather chomp on them.
Didn't think so.
 
 (5)
It felt good to beat the Patriots (again) on Wednesday.
Even if it was preseason.
Even if it doesn't really count.
Even if it was by three points.
Even if no one had their best players on the field.

(6)
The Chinese food in my tiny little no stoplight town is better than any other Chinese food restaurant I've ever tried.
Even your favorite one.
Even the ones in Chinatown in New York City.
It's true.
I think they sneak a bit of crack in their brown sauce.

(7)
I don't feel an ounce of regret when I make ugly faces and wave cigarette smoke out of my face right in front of a smoker.
They look at me like I'm a total bitch and the only thing I think is hmm maybe it'll make you feel even more worse about yourself so you might actually stop.
Sorry, I'm not sorry.

(8)
I have had the two best snuggle buddies in all the land while I've been home.
That is until they both start snoring out of sync and then start stinking up the place.

(9)
I successfully avoided walking into Victoria's Secret in fear that I'd buy Giants gear.
It was just about as hard as I imagine walking passed a naked Ryan Lochte covered in gummy peach rings floating on a bed of Blue Moon would be.
I'm obviously not the slightest bit insane over here.

(10)
Was there ever a better invention in life than Dorito Tacos?!
I think not.
Don't even try to tell me it's dog food, I'll inhale it anyway.
My arteries may or may not give out next year but that's fine, at least you won't need a coroner to tell you the culprit of my demise.
Dorito Tacos it is.

(11)
Lil Broski's girlfriend's friend (take a second to think about it) is visiting this weekend and she's more than likely bringing her puppy along for the adventure!
That is all I'll say about that because you already know how little girl happy I am.
Happier than a bird with a french fry.
A pregnant woman with a pickle.
A redneck with a mud pit.
A sandy cooter with a shower.
A prostitute with a politician.

Alright I'm done.
Peace out homeslice. Have a beautimous weekend!