These Are My Confessions

Here we are again for Miss Leslie's Confessional Friday Link-Up!

I have been watching Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.
I can't with this show. I honestly just can't.
(Her daughter found "rust remover" for the junk in her neck rolls...)
I am left with my jaw on the floor speechless every .5 seconds.
Someone please come over and slap me in the face for watching this.

I did the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD one time this week.
The next day I could not sit down to pee without shrieking in pain.
How is one supposed to do it thirty days in a row if one cannot even walk from being so sore?

This whole puppy sitting thing is the worst idea ever.
I am either kidnapping this little bugger and never giving him back or I am purchasing a puppy of my own after he goes home.

                        Passed out                                                 Hiding under my bed

And I told you I'd turn into one of "those" furbaby moms.
This would be my camera roll from the last 24 hours...and he's not even mine.

We finally won our first kickball game this week.
I finally pitched for the first time this week.
Coincidence? I think not.

I will be going on the Bachelor if Ryan Lochte is actually picked to be the next one.
I will have to give up drinking though because those bitches be crazy after a few cocktails.

I was real excited about fall coming these last couple weeks but now I just want it to get here so everyone and their uncle's brother's cousin's second wives will stop talking about being real excited for it.

I need the Victoria's Secret PINK website blocked from my site whenever it starts selling NFL and MLB gear.
My bank account cannot handle it.
Good thing this season's line features a bunch of shitty crop top type stuff because I won't touch it.
If only this little number didn't show up and win my Big Blue heart...

I'm confused as to why this Kimmy K Krissy H divorce settlement is taking so long.
(The things I ponder in my spare time)
She wants a divorce. He wants an annulment.
What's the big deal in just giving it to him? 72 days should be an automatic annulment, no legal action, no court, no questions.

I still buy my jeans from American Eagle.
Like a true seventeen year old.
They're the only ones that seem to fit my badonk without giving me that horrible little stick out lip I'm going for the plumper look type thing.
 I'm sorry I prefer my crack covered, cough Hollister, cough.

I have absolutely no idea what "Let's have a kiki" means.
So I did what any normal product of the 21st century would do.
Googled that shit.

Found this:
Still have no idea what a kiki is.

I really really need a purple front door like this one I found in the West Village earlier this week.
How freakin' awesome and adorable is this?
I feel like I stumbled into a Pinterest Picture.

Anyone who gets their "Who is Paul Ryan?" facts off of should automatically be exiled from this country along with anyone who votes solely off of the crap tv campaign ads depict.
Be smarter America.

I'm so glad everyone enjoyed linking up for "Where I Come From" yesterday!

The link-up will be live until next Thursday so if you're interested feel free to let everyone know about the place you grew up in!