Crack in a Crock Pot

I received a crockpot for Christmas last year.

It was my most exciting present.
Which means I'm old.
Because if you get excited about receiving a crock pot at Christmas then you might as well be receiving senior citizen benefits while you're at it.
And we can all agree how exciting those are.

But anyway...after all that excitement I've only used it twice.
For the same exact recipe both times.

It's the easiest and most scrumptious thing ever.
I mean if I (the chick that can't seem to even cook a cup of rice correctly) (and I LOVE rice) can cook this then so can you.

You need four things:
not including the pot, two hands, electricity and a glass of wine to consume while waiting

1 - lb of boneless skinless (de-grossitzed) chicken breasts
1 - 8oz package of cream cheese
1 - can of cream of chicken (what exactly is in this crap?)
1 - packet of Hidden Valley dry ranch dressing mix

For real, no lies, that's all you need.

Plop all of that into your crock pot.
Because plop is a more descriptive word than place.
And it really does "plop".

Set the contraption to low.

Sit on your couch.

Turn on the Olympics.
(because that's all I've done for the past 48 hours and I'd feel less lazy if you did it with me)

Watch Ryan Lochte take his shirt off.

Watch Ryan Lochte get all wet.

Pick your jaw up off the floor.

Sip on that glass (or bottle) of wine.

Occasionally stir the dinner you forgot about after seeing Ryan's hot bod.

And after four hours...
Mix that scrumptious creamy goodness with some rice
(the 90 second in a bag kind because I can actually cook that and I obviously didn't have more than 90 seconds to cook rice while I waited 4 hours for the crock pot, come on now)
and you get crack (that really looks like throw up) but tastes like heaven.

And there you have yourself another five star culinary lesson with Chef Erin.