The Bachelorette Recap

Week: I have no idea what number we're on but it's still not large enough to want to get engaged

So I've been struggling all day on whether or not I care to write this post.

But since I skipped last week because I was too busy watching fireworks/sinking on a boat in the middle of the lake - I figured I shouldn't skip this week's.

You see, the problem is that I like all three of these guys.
There aren't any pompous dbags, ostrich egg holders, or trophy wife lovin' men to make fun of anymore.
It's just simply not as exciting to blog about lovey dovey real life feelings.

But I'll attempt it...I guess.

First off though, I would just like to inform you all that Curacao is actually just as beautiful IRL as it was on TV last night.

I went there last January on a cruise and as soon as I stepped off the ship I fell in love with all of the colorful houses.


 But anyway...on to those feelings that you feel when you feel like you feel love for someone.

I think Sean was ultimately the best fit for Emily.
I mean can you IMAGINE the beautiful blonde brood of a family they'd create?
Sending him home was just a crime against a good spiral of DNA if you ask me.

But he did take the longest out of the three to express his feelings and I think that's what did it for Emily.
BUT in his defense the other two sprung way too early so it's not his fault the other two are cray cray.

I think he would have been a great Dad to Ricki too.
His sweet note that said something like "I'll never try to replace your real dad but I will always love you like you're my real daughter."
I mean COME ON Emily.

But I did kind of see it coming.
Their relationship was a little dull #2 pencil to me while the other two were all sorts of bright highlighter shades of spunk.

My love tank (I hate Vicki Gunvelson P.S. but I'll still use the reference) for Jef this week took a bit of a nose dive.
After his two genius one liners two episodes ago I was bored with him.

He also reminds me of a high schooler.
Like him and I could date and people passing by would be like yo those two are definitely HS sweethearts.
I just don't get the attraction.

And then he turned down the fantasy suite.
And that's all gentlemanly and sweet of him but still I honestly wouldn't want my future husband to be able to resist that key.

I need a man like Ryan from Trista's season.
(Yes, I've been watching since then)
She read the card at dinner and he immediately goes "CHECK PLEASE!"
Yes, I need one of those men.

But don't get me wrong, I really do love Jemily together.
I think they're adorable and he does somehow keep her on her toes.
He just wouldn't be making my mouth drool or my lady parts too excited.
That's all I'm sayin'.

Now this is what I'm talking about.
You need that.
I need that.
We all need that.

Plus Arie actually has been in a relationship with children before.
He asks the right questions about the future.
He just seems like he fits better with her in a frame on the mantle than Jef would.

Arie still seems like he's stuck in the bachelor days.
Traveling all the time all over the place.
Waking up late and hanging out with friends every night.
I feel like this might make Emily a little uneasy about the future.

Only time will tell!
Or Reality Steve if you've cheated and looked at the spoilers...

Next week we're on to Men Tell All so hopefully I will have LOADS of dirty laundry to air out on Blogland.