Welp, I have to give it to the Bachelor franchise for being able to suck me into this garbage television all year round.
We get a Bachelor, a Bachelorette, and the mayhem that is Bachelor Pad
all within a year's work.
And I obviously don't hate it one bit.
So I'm linking up with Meg for "Blab & Gab Bachelor Pad"
This show is all too random and all over the place for even the smartest of the Smartie's roll (P.S. what a boring candy) to follow along with.
So I'm going to go ahead and give you some bullet points instead.
Because those make sense.
Even the twins could follow along (maybe)
Whoever did the casting for this show should be shot with one of these bullet points.
(Which I stopped using because I can't make them center and centering is key to easy reading)
But I mean really, out of every Bachelor fan in America THESE are the top picks? I wouldn't put any of them on the positive end of an attractiveness scale let alone would I ever care to date any of them.
Horrible. I was expecting some downright awesome people for all of the alumni to fight over like hyenas.
Then we get the twins and that idea goes right out of the highest mansion's window...
And even the actual Bachelor alumni picks could use some help.
Ryan: Who are you? I completely forgot that you were a 32 year old virgin.
I wish I wasn't ever reminded.
Sarah: I'm not sure I remember you either. But now that you just boned Ed and made him scream like a baboon on national television I'm sure all of America will now know you.
Bravo on that one. Sure your Grandmother was real pleased.
Who else do we have?
Chris: WHAT. AN. IDIOT. You're all "heartbroken" over Emily dumping you and then you decide to go be a man whore. And a horrible one at that?
Bad move bro, real bad. Poor Jamie :(
Blakeley: Holy hell can this chick get any crazier? I mean "emotional"...is that what the code word for crazy is these days?
I can't even watch her - she gives women a bad rap.
Ed: Drunk. That is all. Oh and the fact that Jillian must be thrilled that she escaped that whirlwind of a disaster.
Erica: The plastic gavel, the gavel necklace. I'm confused she can't be smart enough to be a judge or a lawyer so what gives?
Lindzi and Kalon: Confuses me more than Erica's toy gavel.
Although my favorite line of the night was when they were talking about the twins: "Which one was that?" "I have no idea..."
Bahaha loved it.
Michael and Rachel: Love it just because I love them both but for some reason I just don't picture them together.
And what's with that proposal thing in the previews?
It may or may not be the only reason I'm watching.
Donna: So creepy. See you might actually have had a chance if you acted like a normal human being.
These Bachelors and Bachelorettes aren't celebrities (as much as they'd like to think they are) so act like a down ass bitch, flaunt your rack, and knock 'em dead with your personality.
DON'T SKETCH A PICTURE AND ACT LIKE A 12 YEAR OLD MEETING THE BEEBS
The Twins: I'm not sure I know their real names. I am sure that I muted the television a couple times during their rants though.
One: I couldn't understand a single word they were saying. Pretty sure I understood the foreign announcer at the Olympic opening ceremony better than these two Chihuahuas.
Two: If you're that big of a "fan" you should realize that every single person that gets wasted also gets emotional and ends up looking like a blabbering idiot so how 'bout you take the cue and do the opposite.
Three: Waaaaaaahhhhhh. You cawlme SLUT. I nev wan anything dowithyu ever. SLUT. Eysdfksjdfkjsd I CRIED askdasdkjsvlk SLUT.
That about covers the entire argument.
Everyone else: Is either really boring and has no personality for me to remember or is really smart by flying under the radar.
And there we have ourselves another recap of trash.
Go link up for my PHOTO 411 post from yesterday.
It will be going until next Monday so you have all the time in the world to play.
10 different items to add 10 different pictures to.
1. Your Little Tyke Self
2. Your High School Self
3. Your College Self
4. Your Right Now Self
5. Your Furry Friend
6. Your Manly Friend
7. Where You Once Lived
8. Where You Now Live
9. What You Love
10. What You Miss