The Bachelorette Recap

Episode #4

TheBacheloretteDish


So this was a pretty boring episode if I do say so myself.
How can Charlotte be more exciting than Bermuda?
Man drama is just not the same as lady drama. I need to see some claws.
And I frankly am not tripping over my feet for any of these guys.
But I'll still recap, because I'm too OCD to have an entire season recapped with one episode missing.


Date with Doug:
I plain Jane simply do not like this one. I may be the only one that thinks this in all of America too.
He's an awkward turtle for one, he seems like the type of dude that would wear crocs to his son's soccer game, he is way too boring, he kind of looks like a weasel, and I don't see ANY of the "God sent a perfect man down from heaven" type qualities in him that Emily sees.
I watched this crap less than 12 hours ago and I couldn't even tell you what they did on their date.
All I remember is him referring to himself in the third person and something that went a little like this:
"If Emily want kiss, she show Doug that she want kiss, then Doug give Emily Kiss."
Toolbag, make the first move or you're history buddy. Cardinal rule of dating a woman. Am I right or am I right?


Sailor Group Date:
I'm so with Emily on the whole "I don't like watching boys compete" thing. It's awkward and it kind of turns me off more knowing how hard they're trying.
Then again I'm pretty sure I'm a guy while dating so take whatever I say with a grain bag of salt.
Ryan made himself look more like an idiot, Arie was fine but he's starting to get a little too mushy for me, I still don't get the infatuation with 1 F Jef.
Yep, that sums that up quite nicely.


Two on One Date with Nate and John:
Probably the most awkward 2 on 1 in the history of 2 on 1's. You could have heard an ant let out a toot in that cave it was so damn quiet.
But John (P.S. who is John? And when did he get on the show?) said it best when he said he actually liked 2 on 1's. That way they both can easily see if there is an attraction and if there isn't he wouldn't have to stick it out in the middle of the pack for another week, he'd just be outta there.
Nate has been a cutie from the beginning. But then he CRIED (!) on his first ever date with the girl. What a donkey. A sweet donkey, yet still a donkey.
He left the cave. 


Rose Ceremony:
One F Jef's blue knee-high socks. Are we for real here? The attraction to this pouffy-haired skateboarder completely blows my mind.
I'm totally into the D-1 college football player Sean but he needs a little more spunk or I'm surriously gonna start yawning.
Moral of the story: Erin likes athletes, NOT hipsters. (Spoken like in Finding Nemo: Fish are friends, NOT food.)
I digress...
I didn't expect Charlie to go, he was such a sweetie.
Long hair don't care boy (don't even know his name) finally did though.
Hooray.


And that, my friends, is another lovely recap. I can't WAIT to see who says Ricki is baggage. I just can't wait. I'm going to go ahead and guess Chris is the moron that says it.
And I also must say that I have fallen in love with Emily this season. I so did not expect her sass to show up this much. She definitely holds her own with these guys and I love it.