The "I Look Like a Twelve Year Old" Chronicles

Volume Two

I am a child. A whiney, hair bow wearing, ring pop loving, little child.
And I look like one too.
This is where the "I look like a 12 year old" part comes in. Because it's true.
Oh so embarrassingly true and I'm perfectly fine with it.

There was a point in time that I wasn't, though. This was back in the days of being 17 (when I looked about 5) and would get picked on for being flat as a pancake with a mouth full of braces.

I am still flat as a pancake. I do not still wear braces. Graduated from those suckers after I graduated High School. After is the key word there.

But anyway, there are many many occurrences in my life when one thinks I am a child. This is perfectly fine with me now since I have grown up and realized that I can make fun of all the betches who picked on me back in the day when they are old and wrinkly at 40 while I still get carded at the bar.

In other words, I will say na na na boo boo to those unfortunate aging hags and then they will call me a child for using such immature vocabulary and everything will come full circle.


This is where I spill my latest stories on being a little girl. If you missed Volume One you can check it out HERE to see what exactly it is about me that makes me look so young and also a sweet little story.

If you've already read it or are too lazy to click your mouse then just keep reading because here's the second installment.


It's lunchtime and I forgot my lunch from home on the counter in my apartment. Cue sadness and disappointment in Therefore, I had to get off my lazy bum and head outside to pick something up.

The weather is gloomy so my tummy is thinking "Comfort me with a creamy cup of soup." My mouth is thinking "What a great idea tummy, done and done."

So I walk down the block to a little deli/market/buffet type lunch place and ask the lovely man behind the soup counter for a medium Chunky Chicken Corn Chowder. Which by the way is in the world of soups.

Conversation ensues...

Me: "Hi can I have a medium Chunky Chicken Corn Chowder please?"

Soup Guy: "Why certainly young lady."

Me: "Why thank you kind soup man."

Soup Guy: As he ladles my creamy goodness into a bowl, "I didn't know there was a high school around here."

Me: " either?"

Soup Guy: "It's 1:00pm in the afternoon, does your school let you leave for lunch or are you being naughty and playing hooky today?"

Me: Perplexed and confused, "Wait what?"

Me: "Oh I'm not in High School, I graduated College two years ago and work a 9-6 job down the block."

Soup Guy: "Oh I'm sorry dear, I just thought you were 16 so I assumed...oh dear I'm so sorry."

Me: "Not a problem, thanks for my soup, have a great day."

The lesson I learned...

On days that you are lazy and wear casual clothing to work instead of business attire be prepared to be called a High Schooler as well as get strange looks in the elevator of your office building because they probably mistake the day for being "Bring Your Daughter to Work Day".