Breaking News

Welp, the kid is a kid after all folks.

No alien babies were added to the Simpson family this morning when Maxwell Drew Johnson arrived naturally in human form.

That's right, a celebrity Jessica Simpson had a daughter and didn't name it Cantaloupe. I must say I'm rather shocked at the subdued name choice.

I was also pretty positive that there must be twins, or something extraterrestrial going on in there. I mean it feels like she's been pregnant since 2010 and she was also the size of a hippo.

Guess that's what happens when you marry a tight end.