The "I Look Like a Twelve Year Old" Chronicles

Volume One

It's no secret that I still look like a teenager at the prime age of 22 and in all honesty, I have always looked about five years younger than I actually am. I was a late bloomer in every sense of the word.

Exhibit A: Friend Comparison
We are all ten in this picture. I'm the runt of the litter (a whole head shorter than the rest of the bunch) second to the left. Talk about awkward stage.

Exhibit B: My Dental Records
I didn't get my 12 year old molars until I was 16, I had braces until my second semester of college, and my wisdom teeth are currently at the stage of a 17 year olds.

Exhibit C: Getting Carded
There have been occasions in which I actually get carded THREE times at one bar. First by the bouncer at the door, then by the bartender serving drinks(who assumes the idiot bouncer let me in with a fake), and then again by the manager of the bar who sees the 12 year old being served a pint of Blue Moon and freaks out thinking I'll shut his whole bar down.

I also still get carded on random trips to the movie theater if I'm seeing something R-rated. Embarrassing because I'm pretty sure the age for those is, what, 17?!

I've also been carded for lottery tickets, spray paint (?), prescription drugs, etc.


Anyway, now that I have convinced you that I am a small child I will share with you my latest "You look so young!" encounter.

I was at the doctor this morning getting my scoliosis checked out. So I'm just hanging out in my hospital gown waiting and waiting and waiting some more.

 The doctor finally walks into the exam room and the absolute first thing out of his mouth is:

"Where's your mom?"

I sit there for a brief second, a little perplexed at this strange question and then reply "Oh, I'm 22..."

He then proceeds to apologize and informs me that he thought I was 17 and any patient under the age of 18 is required to be with a parent.

Great, thanks Doc.