10 People I Want To Give Paper Cuts To

1 // People that stare at you after you sneeze but don't say "bless you". So you can go out of your way to lose concentration in whatever you were doing to stare at me but you can't open your mouth to acknowledge the sneeze? Ugh. These people are almost as bad as those beautiful souls that don't say "thank you" when you hold the door open for them.

2 // Kylie Jenner. My eyeballs try to recede into my skull every time I watch her longingly stare into her phone screen on Snapchat with pursed lips and wide doe eyes for 120 whole seconds.

3 // Myself. Because I watch all 120 whole seconds of her doing such agonizing things yet can't get myself to unfollow her.

4 // Whoever the genius was that invited locking seat belts. Not the whole clicking into the buckle and locking thing since that's wildly necessary. But when you're just sitting there and lean forward and then it locks and doesn't let you pull any more slack until you unbuckle the darn thing and reset the mechanism. Good lord that was the death of me last weekend on my forever long car trip.

5 // People that comment asking where something is from in an Instagram when said something was tagged by the Instagrammer. Open your eyes, people, It's 2016. Stop being nitwits.

6 // Snapchat repeaters. This one really gets me, guys. If you're adding a snap to your public story for the whole world to see then you absolutely 100% do not not NOT need to send it to me personally as well. There legitimately is no point. I will see it in your story, I don't need to see it again two seconds later in your private snap. So many of my friends do this and I've contemplated the ups and downs on whether we should remain friends or not every single time they do it.

7 // Shonda Rhimes. For breaking up April and Jackson on Grey's. Fix it. NOW.

8 // Babies that throw their food on the floor. Okay this is rather horrible. I don't actually want to paper cut a baby but that "Ruler of the High Chair and Chucker of All Finger Foods" phase will be the death of me.

9 // The 2016 political season. I realize this isn't a person but I just need it stop already. My hometown is filled with two sets of people and two sets of people only. The ignorantly radical right wing rednecks parading Trump around like some sort of god. And the granola head leftists with an entire trunk full of "peace not war" bumper stickers saying they're going to move to Canada should he win. And here I sit thinking I only ever really want to move somewhere new whenever it's an election year.

10 // Whoever introduced gummy candy to the world. I can't stop and it's all your fault. My thighs despise you.