Why Your Britney Really is a Britney

AKA why lady parts are like children

Reason One:

They have enough names to fill up an entire baby name book. Britney, vajeen, gina, biscuit (thank you Honey Boo Boo), fish whistle (thank you Project Runway), cootchy, fur burger (I want to puke), crotch, beaver, and we could go on for days but I may or may not get flagged as a s-e-x site if I do so.

Reason Two:

You have to give them medicine to make sure they behave properly.

Pills, shots, prescriptions etc.

Reason Three:

They act up more often than not and you would rather crawl into a corner than deal with the agony. Stick "pacifiers" in their mouths to make sure they don't "cry" everywhere. (How's that for a visual ladies) Give them Advil or Pamprin to calm them down. Maybe a little heat pack to soothe their pain. Feed them ice cream or chocolate because obviously that makes everything better.

Reason Four:

Groom them, bathe them, make sure they're soft as a babies butt and don't also smell like one while you're at it.

Reason Five:

Remember to schedule (and actually go to) their annual check-ups to make sure they are healthy and everything looks A-okay.
While in the process of these check-ups they squirm and want to cry from being poked and prodded.

Reason Six:

Children like to play with toys.

Anddd on that note I will say goodbye to you all since Shades of Gray and a Pinch of Pink will most likely be shut down in the next hour after this is posted.

Adios kids, it was nice knowing ya!