Friday, December 6, 2013
Thursday, December 5, 2013
There we got it. Now let's all give one big "buh bye" to Erin's iPhone 5 photography skills and one big "hell finally fucking yeah" to Erin's new Canon EOS Rebel 3Ti. Hallelujah Mary and Joseph, I feel like I've graduated from Happy Meal to Burger King big kid's meal over here all within a day's time. Well a Cyber Monday's time. Because that's the only reason I actually pulled the trigger and threw half a grand down the drain.
I ended up going with the Canon because
it seemed like all the cool kids were doing it Whitney told me to. But I have absolutely negative fifty thousand clues on how to use it. Seriously I googled "beginner's guide to DSLR" and felt like I was back in AP Calculus.
So now I'm all freaking out in my yoga pants over here wondering how in the hell I'm ever going to learn how to turn all those knobs and click all those buttons in order to not have my pictures look like a pre-k kid had a heyday with a display model on the counter at Best Buy.
All in all this post was basically a way for me to shout from the rooftops that I'm finally one of the popular kids on the playground with my pretty camera. But it is also a cry for photography lessons/tips/tricks kind of post so that I don't regret purchasing a camera that could have taken me to more Thirsty Thursdays than I can manage to count right now (obviously the AP Calc didn't stick). So cheers to finally allowing myself to not cringe every time I upload pictures to this very blog of mine. I hope this ride goes smoother than my legs feel at this current moment.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
As you probably remember, my little broski of a brother is heading into the Army soon. He doesn't ship off officially for another two months but it's still something in the forefront of my family's minds on a constant basis. All of the feelings come shooting in every once in a while without warning. When hearing the National Anthem during football games, while watching Military Week on Wheel of Fortune, when thinking about where the heck I'll be in just a couple short months, etc.
The majority of the sad feelings don't come from thinking about how I'll be while he's away serving our country but more about how he'll be. Will he be lonely? Will he miss us all too much?
Most likely not since this broski of mine could make a friend out of just about anyone short of a broken broomstick. Seriously, the kid walks into a room and can shoot the shit with each and every person in there with him. I on the other hand would be a straight up mess. But that's why he's the hero volunteering to fight for our freedom while I'm just over here hanging out behind my Macbook. Cool, Erin.
But in the small chance that he does happen to miss me just a little bit, I wanted to send him something that he could pull out from wherever they keep sentimental possessions (do they have a place like that?) and see my shining face smiling back at him. Because, you know, I'm so vain and selfish to think that he'd find comfort in his loneliness just by looking at me. I kid I kid, but I do think it's a sweet idea for him to have a picture of the fam damily and his girlfriend and his puppy and all that for whenever he needs a quick pick me up.
Enter a Christmas card from Open Me personalized with pictures and a special note sent directly from my laptop to his doorstep. And the process really was as simple and as painless as that. I didn't even need to crack open a beer to get things done. Shocking, I know.
Obviously since I don't take too many things seriously in life (except for keeping my beers light and my wine white) I had to pick a card that wouldn't be too mushy. The entire point of the card is mushy so I wanted to keep things the exact opposite. Luckily enough for me, Open Me has quite a few wise ass options that were all right up
my alley Santa's chimney.
I keep things real classy around these parts folks.
(1) Me and the bro many moons ago at Christmas decked out in matching festive outfits. (2) The whole family on the last cruise we were on together. I look like a Native American, don't mind me. (3) Me and my bro making out. Wait no, that's his girlfriend. (4) Dutch, the cutest baby of a yellow lab pup you ever did lay eyes on. That is until Aria came around.
Then all I had to do was type up my own little personalized note wishing him a Merry Christmas with a reminder that my beautiful face was there to cheer him up if he ever needed. And then wham bam thank you ma'am, picked a date to have that envelope of Christmas goodness arrive right in his mailbox.
Easy as a piece of pie, heartfelt as humanly possible for my Grinch heart to handle, and cheaper than picking one out at Papyrus and slapping a stamp on it. How much do stamps cost these days anyway? The price of a newborn baby? Okay got it. Well if you use this site to do your dirty work you can avoid all that nonsense and make someone's heart all gushy inside.
Plus, I'm all about supporting a company that decides to do things like this on their Pinterest and Instagram accounts…
Monday, December 2, 2013
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Guys. I've erased the past seven different sentences I've written here. I just can't put into words how happy and excited and giddy this day makes me. It's Thanksgiving Eve, aka the first day of the absolute most wonderful time of year. From now until Christmas my heart explodes with all things festive and cheery. You could probably shut down every Chipotle in Manhattan and I'd still be the happiest little elf there ever was.
P.S. that was a complete lie. If you're listening, Chipotle, please don't ever shut down. I would curl up in ball of heartbreak and just die a slow corn salsa-less death. Be my friend forever?
Anyway, back to that whole "I love Thanksgiving Eve more than I love my own damn self" thing. My aunt has been posting all these old family Turkey Day pictures on Facebook lately and this one made the cut of me. Brace yourselves, it's pretty good.
I mean are we serious with the ensemble I've got going on? Between the magenta/plum/aqua Aztec sweater and the homemade Native American headdress looking thing I'm really rocking it out. Plus those bangs, oh those bangs. It's as if someone put a piece of scotch tape across my head to use as a guideline while cutting.
Note to self: ask my mom if that was her mo back in the days of bang cutting.
But the throwback is necessary even if it isn't Thursday or Thanksgiving yet. And that's because I won't be showing up to blog class tomorrow, or Friday for that matter. If you need me, well, you should probably just convince yourself that you don't. I'll be a little busy stuffing as many mashed potatoes as possible down my throat and not feeling one ounce of shame about it. So that means I need to do some thankfulness stuff on the blog today instead.
1. Chipotle. Le duh.
2. Those bumpy things on the side of the freeway that alert you if you're about to drive off a cliff. You're a real life saver. Literally.
3. Knowing my way around Manhattan and actually being able to give sound directions when a tourist asks me how to get to Times Square.
4. Google Maps for absolutely anywhere and everywhere else.
5. People magazine getting its act together and actually picking someone sexy for their "sexiest man alive" this year. What a concept right? Adam Levine all day and definitely all night.
6. My parents' examples.
7. My parents' willingness to still pay for my beers whenever I'm with them even though I'm 24 years old and perfectly capable of doing it myself. I'm seriously SO thankful for that.
8. Wrinkly squishy puppies.
9. Having naturally straight hair and naturally long eyelashes yet having the ability to UNnaturally laser off any other hairs from everywhere else.
10. The existence of frozen strawberry margaritas.
And there you have it. My list of ten random ass things I'm ever so thankful for in life. Obviously family, happiness, friendship, a roof over my head, and all that other stuff is on the list too. But that's about as boring as watching House Hunters International when you just want House Hunters "right here in my own darn country" so I spiced it up a bit.
Oh and P.S. since today is my Friday and all I totally didn't even think twice when picking out a #backthatazzup song for my post today. Except for Whitney only backs it up on Friday and today is only Hump Day. But I honestly just don't even care at this point because I've fallen in love with this song. It's been making my heart just as happy as Thanksgiving Eve these past few days. And since I'm on a continuous loop of hitting the replay button over here, I figured I should probably share, even if it is a few months old and I just found it now.
James Blunt - Bonfire Heart. It's just simply the best. Especially because of this particular line:
I could eat it all up and snuggle it forever. But instead I just created that happy little image above. Because sometimes certain songs speak straight into the depths of your soul and the lyrics among them deserve a little more than plain old type. But now I'm off to go do a little napping and a little not eating anything at all in preparation for the massive amounts of food I'm going to intake
tomorrow for the next month. See you ten pounds heavier next week!
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
It's time, my friends. Time for some more life advice from my dear old dad. He may try to purposely annoy me. He may ask too many darn questions in a row. He may hog all of the time allotted in group conversations. He may butt in during the middle of a tv show and want to know the entire story line's background. He may actually be one of the strangest people I know (love ya dad) and he may feel the need to assign numbers and percentages to anything and everything…but boy does the man know his stuff. Because when he offers up his advice you better hold tight to whatever it is he's saying and adapt it to your life.
If you were around for "The Dice Rule" you'll probably agree with that last statement without me even needing to convince you. Because that piece of advice was so on point that I think we're missing out on a New York Times best seller by keeping it a blog post and not turning it into a dating advice book. One day my friends, one day. But today it's time for another rule and another blog post. Except for this time I'm going to copy the email from my father that showed up in my inbox last week suggesting this be my newest post. It's just simply more hilarious that way. Take it away faja.
So you've all heard of the dice rule. Erin spelled it out very accurately. Well here is yet another one of Dad’s, Pop’s, or Mr. Kim’s rules (P.S. yes my name is Kim. I am a he, never once a she). Let’s call this one "The Trust Rule”.
For some reason people think they deserve 100% trust in a relationship. Well I have always told people and yes, even my lovely wife, that you should never trust anyone 100%. At all, ever. And on top of that, you should never expect 100% trust from anyone in return. People really tend to go nuts when I say that.
(Pic of squirrel with many nuts)
And they go even more nuts when I say I trust my dog the most, my mother second, and my wife third. Let's take a little look at my trust scale and check out the assigned percentages for my top three trusted individuals.
P.S. you can't replace the word 'dog' with the word 'cat'. Just don't even try it. It's my scale and this is the way it's going to be. Sorry bloggers. But think about this for a minute, how many of you have severally disciplined your beloved furry friend of a pup...
(Pic of a sad dog in the corner)
...just to say two seconds later in a cute happy voice "come here girl" and have her come jump in your arms and lick your face like no tomorrow.
(Pic of you or someone else being licked by dog or puppy)
That is true unconditional love and trust because they cast no past judgment on your previous actions minutes later. It is they who have forgiven and trusted you unconditionally. Thus it makes it the easiest to trust them in return the most out of anyone else in your life. But then your dog goes and shits on the floor, thus the 95% trust level. Nobody is perfect, not even your dog.
Human nature however will not go as far as dogs. The closest we find it is in the relationship between that of a mother and child...which brings me to second number on the list. Mothers will do almost anything for their children. As a father, I think there is no human bond stronger. I watched it during the birth of both my children. I was leaps and bounds behind their mother as soon as they heard her heartbeat. But then again, mothers and their children can and do still turn on each other. So they get a 93% from Mr. Kim.
So this brings me to the third item on the list. What I think "the best a partner deserves” is a 90% trust level. Continuously searching for 100% trust in your partner and trying to receive it in return will just make you go damn near crazy.
(Should I do a Dad crazy face?)
Think about it, the two cases of trust that I pointed out previously deserve a higher trust level than you do in your own relationship. You're just searching for something from your partner that for the most part can't even be expressed in yourself. Humans are not perfect! We are selfish animals. We are born to make mistakes and thus lose trust. The key is holding on to the 90% trust level the best you can by not repeating the same mistakes over and over again in your relationship. Because making those mistakes over and over again will be the fastest way possible to lose your partner's trust. But if you can admit to yourself that there will always be that 10% chance of distrust from both you and your partner and you work your ass off at holding onto the 90% that you do have, then all your worries will subside.
You just have to let yourself be okay with the fact that there will always be that possibility of dishonesty or failure. It happens often enough in plenty of relationships that it would just be foolish not to acknowledge it. But as long as you know it's there, you'll be able to (hopefully) know how to avoid it. And that's the key.
And there you have it friends. Yet another sound piece of life advice from the daddio. Sorry about the lack of photos. Buttt umm, I pretty much peed my pants from all the recommendations for the ones he thought I should pick out for the post so I just had to leave them there. That and I don't really need to have "squirrel with many nuts" show up in my site referrals for the rest of eternity.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Black on black on black with subtle hints of sparkle and excitement thrown so as not to not bore anyone and everyone that caught a quick glimpse of me - that's what life looked like this weekend. Obviously the pieces of excitement are the gold glitter belt and the hat. I mean duh. Every single other thing I'm wearing is classic black. But sometimes that's what your life needs in that current moment. So that's exactly what I gave myself for a stroll through Central Park to clear my head Saturday morning. And thank goodness I chose Saturday for that stroll instead of Sunday because lord knows I can't even let a pinky escape from the depths of my coat pocket without fearing that it may just fall off. Temperatures are friggin' FRIGID out there!
The completely non-surprising part of this whole outfit, though? That fact that it's 75% made up of pieces from Target. Aka the happiest place on Earth and my most favorite place to buy anything from Q-Tips to cute little hats like the one I'm wearing. Apparently it's called a "cloche" (so much for that fashion degree of mine because this is all completely foreign language to me since I just go with "hat"). But I really do love that cloche. There's no way you can't feel classically elegant in it. Like all of my dignity was truly in tact in those hat wearing moments. Plus, anything gold and glittery just makes me happier than a coffee addict with a red cup in her hand, so I was pretty content on my accessory choices.
Oh and apparently my Target basket was on the same "let's get happy" track as I was. Because 90% of the Christmas aisle ended up in there, plus some Carrie Underwood on the cover of People StyleWatch and Jennifer Lawrence on InStyle. We were just a few kegs short of having ourselves our own little party in the checkout aisle. I mean if I could look like Carrie and act like J Law, life would be MADE. But I guess that's a little too much to ask (thanks for screwing me genetic gods) so I just stuck to flipping through them and broadening my fashion terms.
The party got turned up a notch or two after I was handed a $5.00 Target gift card as soon as I purchased both of the magazines (you too can get the offer up until December 7th). I mean what's better than getting handed money right after spending money? Probably nothing. Besides frozen hot chocolate and picking out your Christmas Tree of course. So you might want to go take a trip to Target and buy them yourself so you too can turn right back around and head straight to the accessories section to snatch that camel cloche, or glittery gold gorgeousness of a belt…for only TEN BUCKS!
Because if that's not the prettiest thing you could purchase with one single bill then I'm apparently living on a separate planet that the rest of the world. Then again you didn't need a blog post to realize that now did you? Cheers to a three day work week friends!
Friday, November 22, 2013
So I'm pretty sure I've been boring you all to big fat Kim Kardashian tears with my love for all things Christmas lately. And that's probably because I've been shoving it down your throats these past couple weeks with my Festive Friday trend. The only little problem is that I don't really plan on stopping. That is until there's reindeer wrapping paper littering the floors and we're on to worrying about about whether or not we can get away with wearing dresses made entirely out of silver sequins for New Years.
The answer to that questions is yes, by the way.
But I am going to back off ever so slightly today and provide you with something that doesn't scream "I saw Erin kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night". Because this morning we're making hot chocolate...frozen style! You're welcome. So turn up your heat, put on your fuzzy slippers and whip out your blenders because it's time for cooking with Two Thirds Hazel. Except for we're not cooking a single thing. So there's that.
Here's what you're going to need in order to make it happen:
6 cups of ice cubes - ones from your rubber Christmas Tree shaped ice cube tray are strongly encouraged but certainly not required.
1 cup of hot cocoa powder mix - I go with the traditional Swiss Miss packets but the Hershey's chocolate raspberry kind is to. die. for. and might be a nice switcharoo to your average cup of
3 cups of milk - whole will make it smoother and creamier (and just simply better) but skim will work just fine if you're trying to keep your gut in tact this holiday season. I probably should've used straight water…
3 tablespoons of sugar - I have nothing to elaborate here other than you probably don't even need to add this seeing as how your hot cocoa mix is straight sugar already but, hey, the more the merrier right?
Pour all of the above ingredients into your blender (after you've googled instructions on how to put said blender together). Turn that sucker on the "ice chop" function and watch your frozen hot chocolate come alive right before your very eyes. Once everything has developed a consistency to your liking you'll need to pour everything unto a glass. Le duh. As you can see from the above pictures, I was feeling rather fancy this morning and went straight for the wine glass. That is after I washed the leftover Riesling remnants from the brim. True sign of
alcoholism a good time right there. After that it'll be time for your last two ingredients.
1 dash of cinnamon - or just swirl a cinnamon stick or two around in there like I did since it makes you feel a whole lot more like a chef than simply sprinkling on the McCormick.
1 billion marshmallows - I'm not sure if you have a measuring cup labeled "1 Billion" or not but if you don't you should probably put it on your Christmas list for Santa to bring you. It honestly is the only amount acceptable for this concoction. If you're unfortunate enough to find yourself without the precise measurement then "a handful" will also do the trick. I guess.
And there you have it my fellow holiday elves. Your very own frozen hot chocolate. Now throw yourself a Christmas party, add some Bailey's onto your ingredient list and have yourselves one banger of a good time. Just be sure to invite me. Or else. Cheers!
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
So my head is ALL sorts of mashed around today. It's a mess up there in that brain cavity of mine and if I were to start writing about any of it it'd probably turn into a whole lot of "I probably shouldn't have written about that" around here. So I'm going to go ahead and avoid all that nonsense by giving you a few of the most random tidbits of information ever to grace this blog. Random is the name of the game at Two Thirds Hazel after all.
(1) There's this mister that I've grown to become obsessed with. He's the most handsome thing on the planet. He makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. He's soft and cuddly and makes my heart melt every day. I mean he even looks precious when sleeping. Oh yeah, and he just got his very own Instagram account! Meet the mystery man:
He's Rip Van Winkle the bulldog.
If someone asked me what I wanted out of life right at this very instant HE would be my answer. I've even looked up the bulldog place where he came from just so I know where to go whenever I have an apartment that allows dogs. Because I will, without a doubt, ask them to clone him for me. This is not a joke. If you too think he's the cutest thing since that sleeping baby covered in bully puppies then follow along here. Plus I don't want to be the only creep obsessed with someone else's damn dog so help a sister out.
(2) Tomorrow I'm hosting a link up with Rebecca from Mommy In Heels called "If Only My Parents Knew…" It'll focus on all the little white lies you told your parents growing up. Whether you really knocked over that expensive vase after blaming the dog or if you snuck out of the house every other Friday to go see the boy that was "off limits", we want to hear about it! So get your posts ready and come join the fun tomorrow.
(3) This is effing hilarious and I just about peed my pants when I saw it on Pinterest this morning. If you don't get it we probably won't be able to continue our friendship. Oh and whenever I have a husband and kid this is for sure happening. I don't care if it results in a divorce or not. #worthit
(4) Today I have Rachel from Tossing the Script here sharing three of her favorite pictures. But I'm just over here eyeing her white Ray Bans, you know, because that's me being infatuated with the not thing I'm not even supposed to be paying attention to. Thus is life right? Wrong. But it's time for Rachel to take it away so feast your eyes on a pretty new face!
(1) My dog, Lucy, has been my best friend for four years. Her full name is Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds Wigglebottom, because I love the Beatles and when she gets excited, or I start dancing, her butt wiggles uncontrollably. She is so adorable it makes my heart hurt. (2) Two years ago, I visited Paris for the time, and it was my first time exploring the city on my own. I stayed in a hostel near Amelie’s café, wandered Montmartre at night, and ate a lot of pastries. I also visited Oscar Wilde’s grave at the Pere Lachaise cemetery, which is covered in kisses from his adoring fans. I made sure to leave behind a crimson smooch for the man who has inspired love and laughter in so many through his words. (3) I was the maid of honor in my sister’s wedding three years ago. Yes, it’s strange when your younger sister gets married before you, but I’ve gotten to do a lot of living in the meantime. My sister and I are four years apart, yet we are rather inseparable. We are karaoke cohorts, fellow Scorpios, and Teen Witch fans. Not only did I stand by her side when she got married, but I was at her side when she gave birth to her son. She’s not just my blood sister, she’s my soul sister.