Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Online dating. Depending on who you talk to, these could quite possibly be the two scariest (and most judged) words when strung together. Take them away and add in the sole word "Tinder" and things get even sketchier. I totally get why Tinder gets such a bad rap but since I've been on the other side of the judgement, actively going on Tinder dates in the past, I can't really hate on it.
Sure there was that one god freaking awful date that I went on and ended up blogging about. That was enough to scar me from the online world of dating for, umm ever, but sure enough I kept on trucking. And thank goodness because I ended up meeting my then boyfriend. We all remember hunkfest, no? While we obviously are no longer together, I am tremendously grateful and glad that I have that relationship under my belt because I learned quite a lot about myself and what I wanted (and didn't) out of a relationship. Plus it also proves that Tinder isn't a complete and utter shitshow since I'm about the pickiest broad in the world and ended up finding a guy I actually could bring home to my parents' right?
But anyway, those are just a couple of my Tinder stories. The good and the bad. But today I have Jordyn here to discuss some more with you, so keep reading because it's quite entertaining, enjoy!
Hi guys, I'm not Erin, although sometimes I wish I was. Not only does the girl have fabulous hair but also mad decorating skills. I'm Jordyn (I blog at The Fairy Princess Diaries) and despite my subpar decorating skills and frizzy hair, I still like to write, and I'd be just charmed if just for today you'd like to read.
As a newly single college girl who had no interest in flirting with any more frat boys, I decided to give Tinder a try. I know what you're thinking, you're judging me, and it's cool because I'm judging me too. I'm here to vouch for Tinder, not as a means of finding your Prince Charming (although who knows I guess) but as another opportunity altogether.
You see, when I first joined Tinder I had no idea how to date...but the weirdest part was I didn't know that I had no idea how to date. I had been a serial monogamist since I was 13 years old so in my mind I was practically Carrie Bradshaw. Poor baby Jordyn had so much left to learn.
The first lesson I learned on Tinder was how picky you're allowed to be. Bachelor #1's pictures are blurry, to the trash he goes. Bachelor #2 can't seem to tell the difference between "you're" and "your" buh-bye. Bachelor #3 spells his name "Conuer" is that supposed to be "Conner" or "Connor", or something different altogether...pretty sure this is an awkward pronunciation situation waiting to happen...um no. Then there's Bachelor #4. Bachelor #4 is pretty cute, has a picture with a puppy, followed by one wearing a bow tie (#swoon), only to steal your heart with the that one of him kissing his Grandma on the cheek! Against your better judgement (and the dating advice your parents gave you) you decide to give Tinder Bachelor #4 a try.
After a few "swipe right"s (matches) and way more "ew no"s, you start talking to a few guys. My type tends to resemble Peter Parker in the sense that they're usually a gawky, awkward, science major preferably with bad enough vision to accessorize with thick rimmed glasses. Tinder is the perfect place to "expand your horizons" per se, and try on a few new types to see how you like them. Trust me when I say all the types are there but here are a few you are GUARANTEED to encounter.
The Grown Up Frat Boy - This guy is just like a regular frat boy but all grown up and graduated from college. He's pretty to look at, has copious amounts of alcohol available at all times and overuses winky faces via text. Unlike the frat guys of your past, he has his own apartment (no sleeping porch cuddling, wohoo), a real job (yay grown up dates) and even more game (uh-oh). This guy will gaze into your eyes longingly over dinner, call you "baby" on a second date, and as all frat boys do, make promises he has no intention of keeping. He says he wants to take you out on his boat, on a hike, to meet his friends, etc. It's all music to the ears just know this is one of those "they all say things you want to hear when there are ulterior motives involved" situations so be cautious.
The Techy Nerd - Your first date with the techy nerd will probably be a chill meet up for coffee, he might spill tea on himself, casually bring up binary code, and stutter a little bit as he hugs you goodbye. His awkwardness is mainly just awkward but a small part of you may find it endearing, especially those of you who lay awake fantasizing about Peter Parker (aka me). After a date or two you will be convinced Techy Nerd is not only obsessed with you but head over heels in love with you. He can't stop ranting about how beautiful you are, he laughs at all your jokes, and most importantly he goes out of his way to plan out sweet dates. You start envisioning your life talking nerdy instead of talking dirty until he becomes so wrapped up in coding and compilers or er… something, can a guy who designs phone apps in his free time really not be bothered to text you back?!
The Hipster- Naturally I was drawn to the Hipster due to his suspenders and thick rimmed glasses. The hipster will most likely draw you in with intelligent conversation, witty jokes and the curiosity that come along with a guy who invites you to play croquet with his handmade croquet set on a first date. It's so cute how he wears the same jeans as you and drives the cutest little mini cooper and sends you those ironic selfies of him wearing a Taylor Swift t-shirt to bed. Dates with your hipster suitor will never be ordinary (or mainstream) but even ladies as "not basic" as you and I just want to see a non indie film and grab coffee at effing Starbucks once in awhile right?!
The Insta-Husband - Insta Husband is ready to settle down from the moment he meets you. You'll know because he'll show up with your favorite flowers on your first date (uh...did you ever tell him your favorite flowers?!) and quickly toss around jokes about how beautiful and genetically superior your children together would (ahem "will") be. You'll laugh off his premature commitment until he starts grilling you on your family's history of fertility, where you hope to raise your kids, and whether or not you carry the red headed gene. Suddenly you'll feel all kinds of claustrophobic and kicking "Insta-Husband" to the curb will be a no brainer.
The "DTF" Bro - You'll know "DTF" Bro because as soon as you meet up for lunch he'll suggest tequila shots and a quick trip back to his apartment. Do regular people do things like tequila shots before 1:00pm, does this bro have like...a job?! Some "DTF" bros are even bold enough to suggest this sort of intimacy before you even meet in the flesh or exchange phone numbers. I've never been so lucky as to encounter such a bold maneuver via Tinder, which either says I'm really selective with the guys I talk to or there's something incredibly off putting about my profile. Either way this dude is most likely trouble, even if you are "DTF", anyone daring enough to become this close with a complete stranger and potential catfish (uh hello you could have totally stolen those photos from anyone (see "Erin's Catfish") should be critically examined for flaws and reexamined until you discover what is wrong with said human.
What can these Tindermen teach you about dating? About life? About yourself? I'm going to sound like a complete lunatic when I say this but I can honestly preach that Tinder has taught me more about dating and yes even myself (outside of dating) than I could have ever imagined. Tinder has taught me how to date (you know like real dates not just "hanging out"), how to let myself be pursued (instead of overanalyzing three word text messages for four hours) and most importantly how to find fulfillment and value in myself outside of others.
There are going to be guys who tell you you are beautiful just to make you feel like crap when they don't text the next day. There are going to be guys who surprise you with the perfect date only to move on to the next girl before he even drops you off at home. There are going to be guys who make you homemade candles and text you nonstop for weeks only to freak out and go missing the minute you mention meeting for drinks with you and your friends.
Moral of the story, you wonderful you, are just as gorgeous, intelligent, hilarious and worthy of love, whether or not your Tinder date sees it or not. Tinder can be inflating, and humbling and in the end a great reminder that who we are doesn't change just because Mr. Sexy-Sixpack conveniently looses our number.
Blog | Twitter | Instagram
Can we just get an amen to this guest post?! This is easily one of my favorites yet.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Sometimes you come across quotes, stop reading halfway through, yawn for a second, and then throw them into the dark hole that is the pile of random shit you see daily but won't think twice about ever again. And sometimes you come across quotes like the one below, stop dead in your tracks, say "holy hell", and then rethink your entire way of living.
Today I have Heather from My Little Happily Ever After here to share a few of her favorite things with you. My personal faves of her faves are the quote and obviously the gif. Because who in their right mind wouldn't want to be Blair Waldorf?! Check her out below and then go say hi on her own Princess-themed blog!
I'm a girly girl, but would like to think I'm up for trying most things once; I mean I did live on a farm for eight years! Since I'm the oldest, I'm pretty bossy and while it gets stuff done, that's been a bad thing for relationships in my past. I think the color pink is one of the best parts of this world and I love it when animal prints are "in". The one thing I can't live without would be water, which I drink through my straw cups… everyday! I'm always blogging about the stuff that's important to me, sometimes it's as innocent as the beautiful Florida weather and other times it's the latest New Adult or Romance book I've read.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Friday, July 18, 2014
It's the third installment of the Blogmopolitan Quiz! All you have to do it download the quiz here, upload it to Photoshop, PicMonkey, Paint, etc so that you can fill in your answers, post it on your blog, and then link your post up here so everyone can see your answers! Have fun being a celebrity for the day.
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Quick announcement! The newest installment of the "Blogmopolitan Quiz" has been born!
If you've been around the block a time or two, you know the drill. But if you're new to the game, here's what you do: click the link below, download the quiz by clicking the little arrow button at the top, upload the quiz to Photoshop, PicMonkey, or Paint so that you can fill in your own answers, post it on your blog TOMORROW, and then come link up with me right back here tomorrow so that everyone can see your answers. Almost 200 different bloggers linked up last time and made lots of new friends, so don't miss out on all the fun!
Click here to download the quiz: Blogmopolitan Quiz
And now… I have someone to share with you today. But she really doesn't need too much of an introduction. Partly because you probably already know her (she's like the cool girl in the cafeteria that everyone wants to sit next to) and partly because you honestly don't need me to talk her up in order to like her. Who wouldn't like a chick named Karli Bell, like seriously.
I clicked on her page one day, read her about me section, fell in creepily in love, tweeted about my creepish love, got a witty and funny tweet back from her, fell more in love, and the rest is history.
But I do have to admit that I'm a little nervous about sharing her with you because I don't want her to like you more than she likes me. But I guess that's just what growing up is all about right? That and hangovers and cellulite, but whatever. Without further adieu, I give you Karli Bell.
there was this one time when i was supposed to write up a nice little guest post for erin and i totally flaked on her. do you have a friend like that? someone who you genuinely enjoy, but for some reason they can't get their sh*t together enough to not flake on you on a semi-regular basis?
well, that's me. i'm that friend. at least i know my weakness, right? (at least one of my weaknesses, anyway.) flakiness aside, erin has given me a second chance to be her (and your) new gal-pal...and i couldn't be more thrilled. so, let's be flaky-friends, yes?
six perfect reasons we should be friends
1 | i'm married to pretty much the hottest farmer there ever was. i post pictures of him semi-regularly and i'm not opposed to you gals using him for eye-candy. i do - errr. single. day.
2 | i co-host a supper fun link-up each friday called, oh hey, friday! if you're into it, you should totally join it. last week we had nearly 200 gals link up! all you have to do is write up five things about anything your heart desires. publish your post and head over to September FARM on friday morning to get your link on.
3 | i love to write super awkward stories about myself and the situations i get into. then i question how this keeps happening to me? like that one time i was in a pageant...in college. or the story of what really happened on our wedding night. (you'll want to read the wedding night post. it's a rough one.)
4 | maybe you're looking for a new pregnancy blog to follow? well...that's my life these days. i'm six months pregnant and write about how much i cry weekly. and who doesn't want to read about their new best friend crying weekly? you can see those posts here.
5 | i bet you probably like giving your new friends money, don't you? i thought so. well, i'd be happy to take your money since i'm saving my pennies for a new nursery rocker. i have my eyeball on this one.
but since i don't want to take all of your money (i'm nice like that), i'd love to offer all two-thirds hazel readers a 30% discount off all of my ad spaces. just use the code HAZEL30 and you'll be set.
6 | and lastly, because we're new friends...i want to treat you to some starbucks. seriously...get entered for a $20 starbucks gift card. i may not be able to drink loads of caffeine for the next few months...but i want you to be able to. erin - thanks a mill for being so fantastic and sharing your wonderful readers with me!
Girlll, you are oh so welcome. Plus, it's not too much of a burden when the lady I'm supposed to be sharing to the world is just so darn likable. Because seriously, just go click on her site and hop around for thirty seconds, I promise you'll want to be best friends with her right then and there.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Hmm what's in this box, guys?
Something's moving around in there and smells super funny.
I'm kind of scared to stick my nose in there, though.
Is it a present for me? Cause I really like presents.
Especially peanut butter and the leftover milk from your cereal bowl.
Can you get it out for me?
And can I eat it as soon as you do? Cause I like eating all the things, guys.
Oh, baby bun buns!
And more than one, too. Do I have to share them with the other dogs?
OMG, they're so fluffy I could die!
I could swallow them both in one whole bite, too.
Gah, that'd be so much fun.
Can I eat them guys, can I eat them?
Okay fine, I'll just sniff them.
Umm, this is pretty lame.
Definitely not as good as everything in your fridge.
And I can't even play with them without you having to hold them in your hand?
This is a really stupid present, guys.
There, back into their nest they go.
Oh, and no Peter Cottontails were harmed in the making of this blog post.
Although the barn cat makes no promises to be as kind.
Because she's quite honestly a pretty big bitch.
Dogz rule, cats drool.
Over out and out, Princess Leia
P.S. spay and neuter your dogs and cats (and any weird humans too)
Because she's quite honestly a pretty big bitch.
Dogz rule, cats drool.
Over out and out, Princess Leia
P.S. spay and neuter your dogs and cats (and any weird humans too)
Monday, July 14, 2014
There was once a time when Karli from September Farm asked me a bunch of random different questions. I obviously love a girl that knows how to do random, because that's pretty much my middle name around this blogging world. So enjoy the ride of odd questions that have nothing to do with each other today. You might just get to know me a tiny bit better.
1. Have you ever been in a girl fight?
Surprisingly, yes. With a girl I now consider one of my best friends. Although she obviously wasn't that at the time things went down.
I was dating this deuche canoe that was deathly allergic to monogamy (see also: was a complete man-slut). I found out he was cheating on me with this girl who obviously wasn't my friend at the time, and then ended up being the crazy looney toon that I was back then and bitch-tapped (not so much a slap, but not so much a puppy snuggle either) the girl on the cheek. Basically the complete opposite of this:
But then both of us grew up and realized that the d-canoe was the problem in our little love triangle of hellish immaturity instead of each other, so we joined forces, ditched him, and became best friends. Girl power!
2. Any scary moments in NYC?
Unfortunately yes. If you ever ride the subway in NYC, you'll sometimes hear announcements on the overhead speakers saying something like "Packed subway cars are not an excuse to inappropriately touch fellow subway riders." Or something. I always thought they were somewhat of a silly joke; something that would never happen. That is until it did. To me.
I was on an extremely packed car and some guy was pushed right up against my back. He kept bumping into my ass, but hey, the subway isn't the smoothest of rides so I tried to brush it off like he was accidentally doing it whenever we hit a bump. But then the train stopped and there were no more bumps, he reached all the way up with his hand into my crotch area and grabbed me. Sorry for the graphic details but it was absolutely as horrifying as it sounds. I screamed. Punched him in the back several times while chasing after him, and then lost him in the crowd on the subway platform. People are sick. So watch your back, err, butt, if you ride the subway.
3. Phone, internet, or fruits and veggies - which would you give up?
Phone, duh. I hate the phone, remember? Plus who in their right mind could ever give up strawberries or corn or potatoes or carrots dipped in hummus or watermelon or smoothies?
4. Are you a fan of your blog? Do you wonder why people read it?
Oh boy. Sometimes I think I'm creative and/or witty. 99% of those times I'm also delusional. So 100% of the time, yes, I absolutely do wonder why people read this thing. I'm just your average twenty something who binges on Netflix instead of going on exciting adventures. It's not a life that's too thrilling over here too often.
Before I had a blog I stalked the shit out of Jessica Garvin. I would literally hit the refresh button on her page at least ten times a day hoping for a new chalkboard bump update. Little Baby Gavin dot blogspot dot com was my version of Walter White's blue meth. I was completely addicted and couldn't wait for my next dose. I look back now and ask myself why I didn't run straight to therapy. I mean, I'm seriously such a freak. But I can't for the life of me imagine that there's anyone out there doing that same thing with my site every day. Like I said, we're really not exciting enough over here for that nonsense.
5. Any romance in the city or walk of shames?
There's romance, but not in the city. Most of you probably know where that happens by now, cough, Charlotte, cough. But walk of shames have definitely happened in my five years of city life. EARMUFFS GRAMA! The best are those after Halloween and Santacon because of the obvious ridiculousness in outfit choices. Just picture a girl running down the street in the dead of winter trying to catch a cab come Sunday morning with nothing but red booty shorts and a tutu on.
6. Which sport would you do at the Olympics?
I'd go with gymnastics since I was a cheerleader back in the day, but their thigh muscles seriously give me the wide-eyed emoji look faster than you can say "Time Warner Cable sucks". Which is also my WiFi password, P.S., should you ever need it. But since gymnastics is out, the only other option would be ice skating. And I'm still mad at my mother for not signing me up for classes as a child.
7. What led you to nannying?
Well let's see. I started out in fashion working at Donna Karan because that was my major in college. Didn't like it. But then I needed to pay the ridiculous bill that was my rent every month, so I got some random job at an executive search firm as a head hunter. Didn't like that either. The clouds cracked and sent me a miracle while I was there in the form of me getting laid off. It sucked a bit at the time but is now THEE absolute best thing to ever happen to me in my work life thus far.
Because that allowed me to take a month or so off to really figure out what I wanted to do for work. I didn't want to jump straight back into some random job that would solely exist in my daily life as a method to pay rent. Going to bed depressed every Sunday night because the work week is about to start is absolutely no way to live your life.
So I decided to get back to my roots of when I worked at a daycare center during high school and college, which then led me to look for a nanny job. A couple days later, I was interviewing with a couple who had the cutest, most squishiest, most adorable three month old little boy there ever was. And now, two years later, I can honestly say it's been the single most rewarding experience I've ever had.
Friday, July 11, 2014
So now that the Charleston recap is over, I'm officially back home in Upstate New York for the next week. After that I'll be off to Washington D.C. and Charlotte (again) but who's counting the days away? Certainly not me. Anyway, I'm home, and we all know how much I love home in the summertime because I posted all about it here by listing out things I was excited for.
And one of those things was the wine country. The Finger Lakes (aka the central area of Upstate New York which has a lot of long skinny lakes next to each other that look like fingers) has hundreds and hundreds of wineries all along the water up here. So you'll probably be seeing quite a few posts about them making their way around the blog this summer. Obviously the first one being today since you've already seen all of the pictures up above. My Grama picked my brother's girlfriend and me up yesterday around noon and we drove the ten minutes over from where we are on Cayuga Lake to where Wagner's Vineyard is on Seneca Lake. It's about 1/3rd of the way up the east side of the lake for anyone familiar with the area and looking to try it out.
P.S. Can I just say that having wineries this close to your home is basically like God's gift to Earth?
But anyway, we posted up at the Ginny Lee Cafe, which serves food out on the deck adjacent to the actual winery itself, for lunch. It has the most beautiful view of the lake looking out over the vineyards and the wine obviously doesn't hurt either. I go with the Rieslings every damn time and have never been disappointed. But our area is known for them after all, so I guess that's probably why. I've even ordered one of my favorites at quite a few different restaurants in New York City before. Puttin' Upstate New York on the map!
Wagner's also is the home of quite a few weddings, as well as bands that play live music on the weekends. It's definitely one of the better known and most popular wineries on Seneca Lake, so if you're ever in the Watkins Glen/Ithaca/Upstate area, I strongly suggest making a stop here.
Plus while we were there, I obviously had to get a few pictures snapped of my outfit. I mean, would I be a blogger if I didn't?
You can see more of my dress in the top picture, but I just have to say that it's my absolute favorite maxi this summer. It's $32 and from Target, duh, and I've already gotten tons of compliments on it in the one week that I've had it. Even the man was like "Erin Gray, looking absolutely BEAUTIFUL tonight!" as soon as I put it on. And that right there means it's a winner, ladies.
My necklace is from Forever 21, sunglasses from Aldo Accessories, and awesome new bag from Anne B Designs.